I’m dying like my stupid plant.
It sits on the piano.
No sun.
No water.
No love.
No one,
To care for it.
We all must die.
I sit with covered windows.
Keep the light out.
Smoke saturates the room.
First hand and second hand smoke.
Maybe I’ll die faster.
My fingers stroke the piano with ease.
My school books lie open on the floor, not touched.
The book shelf is stuffed with books I’ve never read.
T.V. dinners crammed throughout the room.
A dying T.V. on its last leg.
A place where things come to die.
My dying mother’s house.
I dear say,
Let the T.V. rest in peace.
Let the ants eat the remainder of the despairing dinners.
Let the plant wither away.
Let my lungs Fill with decay
Let the piano notes die into the silence
Let me die.
Please.
I ask so kindly.
Please.
I ask with no remorse
Please
I ask and beg.
Please.
Another drunken night is all I have to live for.
I will wind up on my bedroom floor, spinning like a top.
Eye’s that barely open, to suck in another breath of a cigarette.
An ease of respiration, smoke only chocking my gasps.
A bruise where I fell on my arm, let the ants eat me.
The potent smell of Vodka caressing my body, coiled around me like a snake.
My mind in ecstasy, the only legal way to cure my problems.
My problems will be back in the day.
They always are
Funny how things work out like that, huh?
Let me die peacefully.
Let me be stoned loudly.
Let me be murdered brutally.
Let me be put asleep quietly.
Just let me out.
Out of this forsaken life.
God you have screwed me.
You really have.
Author notes
I chose option number five because something in it made me think of dispair and depression. It is a hopeless line.
A contest entry
- Those That Never Were by Rashida.
900 points, ended November 7, 2008, 9 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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"God you have screwed me/You really have" and I'm just chuckling over that line, I think this is fun to read and there is clarity,enjoyed
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Wow. Uh I am speechless. Dont get me wrong, I loved it. But wow... It was very...real
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I loved the ending to this:
"Let me die peacefully.
Let me be stoned loudly.
Let me be murdered brutally.
Let me be put asleep quietly.
Just let me out.
Out of this forsaken life.
God you have screwed me.
You really have."
The subject of this poem is amzingly dark and sinister and sad. I hope this isn't a true reflection of your thoughts and feelings.
This is a brilliant piece of poetry, and my only suggestion apart from eyes lolz is that maybe you should say put to sleep instead of put asleep as I think thi will (only minorly though) improve rhythm
Hope you appreciate the comment as much as I loved reading this poem
Keep writing
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Wow. This poem is explicit with painful truth. The pictures your words paint make me ache. The absolute only suggestion that I could offer is that in line 37, I think you intended "eyes" instead of "eye's".
Also, the following line stands out & resonates for me in a shockingly familiar way:
"The potent smell of Vodka caressing my body, coiled around me like a snake."
Best of luck in the contest! -
I feel every pain etched in every word... There's so much desperation in this poem. So much. I feel the same, you know that. I agree with that line, "just let me out."
Sometimes, you just want to get out of your body. To not be yourself. To not be able to feel. To have someone to blame. To die.
These words, I feel like they're mine:
"Let me die peacefully.
Let me be stoned loudly.
Let me be murdered brutally.
Let me be put asleep quietly.
Just let me out.
Out of this forsaken life."
Good luck in the contest dear. This is a powerful poem. If only you were writing using ink, it would have bled all over the page. -
It's a good poem, really expressing your feelings.
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a very sorrowful poem, full of remorse, perhaps you feel there is nothing to live for now, but give it time, things will get better, no matter how long the night, the dawn will come.
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I find such a depth of sorrow in your poem, and in the story behind it. It seems you are caught somewhere between worlds - you can see that this is not where you want to be, but are unable to do anything about moving on.
The images offered here, the neglect, the dying, are very potent, yet there is still a struggle against them. This is what you will use, and what will give you strength. It is already in you, not something that will come from the outside. -
Thats huge. deep. Heavy. good write there mate
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Well..druken nights are like this..and yet there is a truth in it which we can't speak during our non drunken nights..well done...thanks for sharing...
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okay, this is really cool. very discriptive, and I enjoyed it. one teeny little thing though.... which quote did you use?? you need to list this and your reasons in teh AN if you could. it would eb a shame to have to dq this.
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i dont kno what to say
this is heart wrenching, raw with despair, bitter, raging, lost
you are mega talented, thanks for articulating what so many cannot
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wow
I like it, dark truthful and honest. It's how many feel I cna relate completly, great job. I trule loved it
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