My head is flooded with words of pain
It's all to much for me to stand
So I'll grab that blade once again,
So I'll only suffer by my own hand.
Overwhelming rage sometimes overflows,
So much that releasing it would kill.
But the razor's sharp kiss mellows,
Any thoughts thats content was ill.
I need punishment for my sins,
Or my guilt eats me on the inside.
I let it out through cut skin,
Then shame makes my scars hide.
I have a general self resentment,
That fuels my need for self harm.
I wanted to cause my body torment,
And I did this by sewing my forearm.
Sometimes there's only one prospect;
And that's to make them feel the shame,
For all the pain that they inflict,
And to stop the tragic little game.
I fear feeling too much in this life,
And letting emotions out of control.
So slice my skin open with this knife,
It's painful touch seems to console.
But the feeling of constant numbness,
Is a down side to this plan of mine.
I can't stop it though it I must confess,
So in these cuts I will confine.
Author notes
This is just kinda a poetic list of reasons for my self harm. Paragraph infers to the time I sewed my arm up, I always do weird stuff like that. So enjoy my 'happy' poem!!
A contest entry
- {This is} What HURTS the MOST ;; by Candy Morphine.
700 points, ended November 17, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark, cutting, suicide, sadness, depression by stargardt13.
700 points, ended February 28, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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You sewed your arm? oh my god! that must have been incredible! I'd love to hear more about that if you'd message me sometime. I really liked this poem. It had a lot of creativity and brought a lot of awareness to cutting. If you want to talk im here. Thanks for entering my contest!
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I've read many a poem on this topic, and this is one of the best. You've kept it from being cliché. And you've kept it mature and poetic.
Hang in there, carry on. I am a survivor, if you need advice, IM me. The key is to find another way to channel out your emotions.
Best of luck. And keep writting. You clearly have a lot of talent.
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Hoodwinked
I am not going to lecture you on cutting. That isn't my job. I did like your poem because you wrote from your heart. I hope one day you can find peace in your life and you would want to stop on your own.
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a brilliantly written piece and ill definitely be reading more of your work in the future...
its content however... as you know im a self cutter and have sewn myself up as have a few other people including my husband. u know wot helped me? meeting another self cutter... him n me made a deal... we swore... that if one of us cut we would tell the other one n they would too... the thought of him cutting himself made me stop. so anytime u want to talk to me or any self cutter... theres tonnes on here... do it... before you pick up that blade,
huge hugs,
georgie,
xxx
ps would have given more applauds but only had two left lol
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HOODWINKED
A very sad poem that describes the feelings inside and by writing about them an excellent way to stir this energy into creativity.
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Hood-Wink!
There was a lot of really well expressed ideas in here and I applaud you for that. I must say that I have never self-harmed so I don't know exactly what you're going through but I hope that it passes. I thought that the rhyming took away from the poem a little, not that I'm a fan of free verse, but I think it's sometimes good to be slightly reckless with such raw topics. Cheers
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Hood-Winked!
What a sad and powerful poem it brought tears to my eyes! Please try not to cut yourself there are so many of us that care so much about you! Your poem had such amazing and vivid imagery and emotion I felt like I was there with you and could do nothing to help. If you ever need to talk please message me, I hope being Hood-Winked today will bring a smile to your face. love and hugs Theresa
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You have penned a very indepth write of your life
Please may I ask when did these feeling begin really think about this for honestly it usually happens when you get into your early teens . Most of the deprtessed feelings comes from ewither medication for depression or from some form of drugs when one begins to think that self abuse will make others feel what you feel . Honey little do you know it is the meds thats causing this and if you arent on any meds and feel your not like anyone else then listen I went through this and my sisters went through this now their children are going through these stages and you will come out and begin to live again trust me . Please the next time you feel as though you want to cut messgage me and we will see why you feel this way for through your words they tell me more than you know .So Im here for you anytime you need me leave a message and as soon as I receive it I will answer .Love Patty
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Appropriate title and well written poem. Your flow is really good and the use of rhyme doesn't appear forced at all. This is sad though, and I hope you are able to find other ways to deal with these feelings
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Very powerful poem of how cruel the world and its people are. They make us qustion existance and purpose. Sorry to have seen another go thru this life of pain in such ways. You do have a purpose within this life and its not for their amusement or your own torture tho. poetry is a strong weapon you weild. It can cause pain but also heal the wounded, as well as yourself. It works for me. Hope your life gets better. Keep writting!!
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You have a real reason for living,writing your feelings out in poems is a great way of release for you but also a great way of getting others the chance to let their feelings down and talking about something that is so puch pain inside that you feel ou much punish yourself in cuttung your wrists.Although I do not cut I have tried to commit suicide alot and have suufered from major depression and been hospitalized for it off and on my whole life.I think that you feel that you must feel that you will never get any better nor will life but there is hope.If you take a pen and write what you are feeling at the time you want to cut I believe the people will answer your cries of pain and you will not want to cut but talk instead.Good luck to you and I will keep you in my payers that you will not end your life as you are a great writer and person and we would all loose so much if you were not in this world.
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Beautiful poem.
I slit my wrists too.
So I kinda know how you feel..
The first part of the poem was amazing btw.
Though the whole poem was awesome..(;
You are an amazing writer..
You should be very proud of yourself.
And I'm very impressed <3
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Beautiful. Your words have such depth and power. You have much more potential and sophistication with your words than I would expect from a sixteen-year-old. Your message is striking, and I think this is a piece that will leave all your readers effected in someway, in contrast to one they'll quickly forget. Thanks for sharing this. I really appreciate your talent.
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This is deep and i have to say, a little painful to read. hope things get better.
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The first stanza i really powerful I have definitely been there. I really loved thi piece. I used to self-harm really badly so I know exactly where you are coming from and I can definitely relate. My favorite stanza is:
"I need punishment for my sins,
Or my guilt eats me on the inside.
I let it out through cut skin,
Then shame makes my scars hide."
I love it because I can definitely relate directly to that. Although it seems like your kind of forcing it to rhyme...like in this line:
"Any thoughts thats content was ill."
It doesnt really make sense and it doesnt verbally flow with the rest of the poem. It seems like you just needed it to rhyme. Overall well written. Good Job -
very good
but i suggest a therapist
and art may be a better substitute
perhaps sitting in the park to watch the butterflies will inspire more positive self expression
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i love this poem! it's so emotional and beautiful and just real! it's not like a happy poem that sounds really fake it sounds like...emotions! this is beautiful! i loved the line-"so i'll only suffer by my own hand." i can totally relate to that because sometimes you want to make yourself suffer so no one else can! i totally understand that!
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the emotion in is poem is outstanding. i can feel every cut, nick and poke of the blade as it digs into your skin. its quite disturbing.. i love it!
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A very dark but understandable piece. I really admire a person that can puch so much feeling into a write and it all makes sense. well done. Hope your ok and happ
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Poor Ashlie and her self harming of sometimes. I do the same sorta thing but i bash my head on walls. Perhaps this is the reason me is becoming stupideder. XD. Nice write, although it did make me shiver at the thought of you sewing up you arm.
-Swintha
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Its retarded in this world how the worst pain is mental. Very rarely does physical pain lead to mental pain, but so very often the other way around, and I think this is a good representation of this.
And are you SURE this is a happy poem lol ?!?
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