Humiliated, ruined
Don't you feel bad
For this little girl
Who can't understand
That there's much more to life?
Torn up, ripped up
Quickly thrown away
With latex, hard flesh
Violated and raped
She isn't okay
As tears trail her face
This isn't right
She feels bloody, disgraced
Tearing off the ribbons
The deathly bondage straps
Ripping off desolation
The intricate trap
For a moment she escapes
So lost, so alone
Why can't this be fake?
For there's no Hell like home
Desolated in crime of the disdained
Forever and ever the hate remains
What did she do,
What did she do!?
Still living
Still breathing
Blood and pale fluids hide her shattered pure soul
Sticky and aching in her "dirty whore hole"
About to throw up, she starts passing out
Crying and weeping in her loveless blackout
No life worth living for this innocent pearl
She's going insane, the poor, broken girl
She can't live like this, she cannot go on
Why would this shit do something this wrong
Help her, save her
Reach out if you can
Give her reason to live
Help her understand
She's bringing that knife
Slowly to her throat
She's bleeding, she's drowning
The blood makes her choke
Washing away
Wasting away
Is it too late to save her?
She's melting away
Author notes
Uhhmmm... I forgot about this and finally got to finishing it. This was... probably the hardest poem I've ever written, especially since I can't just... put a happy ending on it. Somewhere, some poor child is going through this, and I can't help but know it. And so I can't just give this poem a happy ending, I can't let my little imaginary girl escape this hell while so many real children and adults alike are trying so hard to go on, trying to make their lives better, trying to find a life of their own that is being stolen from them.
So... do what you can to help. I mean... don't go prying in your neighbors basement seeing if they've got someone tied up down there, but do what you can whenever someone's in need. Someone always needs help.
- Silvosian Rhymes group list • next in list
A contest entry
- [Contest] Wake up to Abuse - Prewrites Welcome by Miss Faerie.
700 points, ended February 8, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Sacrifice your Critiques unto me:
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
-
This is brilliant. The rhyme creates a quick flow that makes you want to be sick when you know the suffering.
Shari
-
what a fantastic write. It is almost as if you are writing about my life! I can relate to what you have written so well. It is incredible for you to have been able to portray this horrid truth so well while not having been through it yourself. Brilliant. Thank you for putting out there what most choose to ignore and brush under the carpet... this DOES happen... take it from someone talking from experience. Well done x
-
-
Thank you for your comment. I'm sorry this hits a bit too close to home and I'm happy to hear that somewhere the story is ending a bit happier than my portrayal. Thank you again for your comment, it's very nice to hear that my writing isn't causing harm to those that it's meant to help.
-
-
amazing
I can't believe someone thats never been through this kind of this has written about it so well. I'm not a great writer - would love to be able to express my experiences and emotion through poetry, I'm judt glad that you;ve got the talent and the heart to get this kind of issue out there. Thankyou.
-
-
Unfortunately, it's not completely true that I haven't been through something like this. Family and myself alike have stories which I don't think any of us could tell comfortably... Thank you for taking the time to comment.
-
-
this is the most amazing poem ever written this is a very great write this is by far the best poem i have ever had the chance to read i will never forget it i love it so much i love the whole thing there is nothing to complain about how the words r put the whole thing just flows together i love it great job great write and have a nice day keep it up keep on going and stay true stay sic and peace out have a nice day
-
-
Thanks for the praise! I don't know if Without Miracles is one of the greatest poems ever written, but I am glad you think so. ^^
-
-
Amazing. I dont know what else to say really. This poem was just plain amazing. Loved every bit of it, and the emotion is so powerful through out. Well written.
Silvos.
-
-
Hey, Silvos! Welcome back to the site, man. Thanks for taking the time to always read my poems and comment on them. You're a great friend.
-
-
Profound
You are so right there are a lot of children going through such plights, as a child advocate I am a witness to some of the good(turning points) and bad of it all. very well done
-
-
Thank you!
-
-
What did she do,
What did she do!?
Still living
Still breathing.
<3
Loved it.
You're a amazing writer. -
-
Thank you very much for your comment. ^^
-
-
Thank You.
-
-
No, thank you!
-
-
A very powerful reminder of the suffering that goes on while we sleep safely in our beds, cozy in our homes...we can't fix everything, we can't save every child, but as you point out, "Someone always needs help." Thank you for all the work and painful hours that went into writing this.
-
-
And thank you, too, for your time sacrificed to comment and your understanding of the purpose of this poem.
-
-
wow this is a really good poem I expecially like the line "Crying and weeping in her loveless blackout" Once again you write another great poem.
-
-
Thank you very much for positive comment. ^^
That line was the result of a fellow poet on this site that calls herself "Vacancy" who pretty much begged me to change the line that used to be there, which was extremely corny and was so grammatically incorrect (but who needs grammar when writing poetry, eh?). Originally, the verse was:
"About to throw up, about to pass out
Crying and weeping for life of love without"
Obviously, you should thank her.
-
-
Heartfelt
This was great...I truly know what this little girl is going through.
As a mother, I can't even imagine that someone would want to harm a child this way. Sadly, none of these could have a happy ending.
You portrayed this well and I thank you for writing such a powerful piece -
-
Thank you very much for your time and energy to comment. I wish you and your offspring the best and that they'll be protected from anything like this from every happening to them. ^^;
-
-
This is so deep and so very sad!!! You did an amazing job portraying this piece!!!
-
-
Thank you for your praise and time. ^^
-
-
this is so full of emotion, i was enraptured throughout. this is a really good social commentary.. and you are able to very effectively convey the persona's pain and make the reader feel it. kudos toyou on a job well done.
~concisus~
-
-
Thank you very much. I had a lot of trouble trying not to waste words, find just the right thing to say at what place, but not feel too electronic while doing it. It was a doozy...
-
-
Very Very Deep
Wow what a fantastic read, you have really captured the torment and suffering this poor girl has lived, the poem is really well written and flows well, you may like to have a look at my portfolio as i write very simalir stuff, Thankyou so much for sharing, and i will look forward to reading some more of your work. Ps i really liked your authour notes aswell. xx
-
-
Thank you very much. The flow of this poem is something I worked very hard to get right. You really don't want to know how many times I went back and thought to myself, "I could make this line better, I just know it!". The last stanza actually kind of irritates me because it feels so abrupt compared to the rest of the poem...
-
-
I don't think there are any changes that could make this better. It ended as it needed to. Not many of us actually attempt suicide but we all think of it after... Beautifully written! Best of luck to you in all things!
-
-
Thanks! I was very... cautious about a suicide attempt ending. I'm still debating with myself over whether or not I want to change it to something with a more hopeful ending. Of course, until I can think of something more appropriate that isn't just taking the acceptable way out, I guess it will stay the same. x.x
-
-
I think that the ending is good. There is a hopelessness in the situation and sometimes it is hard to think that life can go on after being so horrifyingly violated. Many people can see that the future has to get better but there is still a large amount that cannot see how to get there. I really like it how it is but this is your vision. Hope can come from the littlest things. Let me know if you do change it. I would love to see where you find this girl's hope. Good luck!
-
-
-
Absolutely great poem.I like the way you've written.It's dark,painful and your style is similar to some previous works of mine.Good job!
Adding your comment:
1 - 31 of 31
