Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

back then

Remember what it was like
when it was just a crush?
Every second with you
was tense and questioning.
Interpret every twitch,
pull inevitably closer,
step away at last.
Oh the awkward glances and sighs,
and the ‘does-he-like-me-too?’

Sometimes I wish we could step back to those days.
I love the closeness now,
but still I look back on the
almost-hug-pull-back-repeat
with fondness.

Author notes

I miss crushing on you sometimes.

How can I improve this?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Cannonsfire gold member
    October 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I remember those days too lol..this is very well done, just think it could be stronger with less gerunds (ing words) it tightens the piece by limited use of them. If you took the 'but' out and just said 'step away at last' and 'interpret every twitch'...it strengthens the image that you intend to do it rather than think of doing it. Just a thought if you care to use it, I did enjoy the read. C