You had it
BAD.
You miss the way he held you && the way his promises sent
convulsions down your spine;;
his smile melting ever bit of "crazy" he swore to you you weren't.
[&& I guess it doesont matter if he thinks your perfect does it?]
But eventually,the stars have to sleep && your ice water tears
sinking through his bones arent gonna shine long
enough to hold on;; his arms had all the warmth of a body bag && taking
cookie cutters to shattered porcelain isnt gonna work,The filament is evaporating in this heart that was forced to turn hard
&& walk from whatever made it [alive]
Sweety the only thing those bruised legs are good for is stumbling down roads paved with betrayal && all the reasons you were second best;;
[&& that means first to lose].
His words && images of her lips to his sends shock waves to every fingertip &&
the nerves are exploding into whatever it was that made me so [un]lovable.
&& now the pieces of me are shattered along the skyline && all thats left
to do is pick up my wings && go bury those memories we left down at
Watson park;;
I didnt believe in love until you wrote
/SUCKER/
along my hip bones && threw me back to reality.
Author notes
NAME-slam glam blackouts
OPT.-phrase prompt
opt-demented fairytales
A contest entry
- FEAST YOUR STARVED EYES UPON THIS by Asabouros..
1000 points, ended October 29, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - & her life isnt over yet by glitterydoom.
550 points, ended November 9, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Hm, not a bad poem I suppose, but it's just not my style - so I don't really like it...thank you for entering though, and best of luck in the other contest.
-
"Sweety the only thing those bruised legs are good for is stumbling down roads paved with betrayal && all the reasons you were second best;;
[&& that means first to lose].
His words && images of her lips to his sends shock waves to every fingertip &&
the nerves are exploding into whatever it was that made me so [un]lovable."
I really loved this stanza, Infact I loved this whole peice.
thankyou for entering my contest, and good luck
-
It's straight from the heart... The tone is very heartening... You have played with words to bring the enotions right... The sentiments are put across in a perfect way...
ALl the best in the contest
Love
Kiddy
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