The Sarcastic Man

  The man never jumped.  He was a very sarcastic man. Maybe he just couldn't figure out how to make a jump sarcastic. Everything else about his life was sarcastic, he talked sarcastically, he walked sarcastically, man, he even ate sarcastically. But he never jumped.  Kids knew him as the very sarcastic man who never jumped, or even as the sarcastic man who couldn't jump.  Sarcastic literally meant a man who never jumped. They would try to run under him or swing objects beneath him so that he would have to jump.It never worked. This man would simply step sarcastically over, or walk sarcastically around. Finally one day some kids got together to plot how to make the sarcastic man jump. After many ideas, each crazier than the last, one smart young kid came up with one idea that would make anyone jump. "We'll put tacks in the mans shoes!" he said. "That's sure to make him jump." so they went about their plan and set a tack in each shoe. Just as they were finishing the man came to get his shoes. He put them on one by one, and stood up to walk. "Oww!" he sarcastically said, and sat straight back down without even lifting his feet. The tacks hadn't pierced his skin. The kids went back to plotting. After even more outrageous ideas, the kids had a new and better plan for the sarcastic man who never jumped. They would sound a very loud noise right near his ear, that makes everyone jump. So the kids talked some more until one little girl said. "I have cymbols I can crash together." So it was decided. The kids hid on the porch. Right as the man passed the little girl jumped out and crashed those cymbols together. The man excliamed, "Oww, thats loud" and kept right on walking, without ever lifting his feet. Now the kids became discouraged.  One young kid groaned, "If those can't make him jump, nothing can."  "I have an idea!" one kid suddenly exclaimed. "We'll circle him and yell out at the same time. We'll leave a place where he has to jump up to get away. He'll be forced to jump!" "Hooray!" all the kids shouted. The kids hid, waiting for the sarcastic man to walk by.  Right as he passed into their circle they all jumped up and screamed.  The man was so startled that he fell down.  "What is it that you all want?" he said.  The kids replied, "we want you to jump!" "well, why didn't you ask?" he answered.  And with that he jumped up and down three times, and went on his way.