Secret smile, covert glance,
Sneak a kiss at every chance.
A wink, a laugh, a light caress,
all show the things we can't confess.
Casual greetings, late night moans,
Your lips on mine when we're alone.
A comment that leaves more unsaid,
and hints at time spent in your bed.
We lie together, intertwined,
sending tingles up my spine.
Your arms around me feel so right,
I'll stay forever, here tonight.
Author notes
I was looking back at my poem "Shadow and Light" and thought it'd be fun to do a poem based off of the idea of forbidden love. This is from the perspective of the lady in "Shadow and Light".
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Great
Love the passion and excitement of the theme of the poem, the way it is written sings of covert times stolen wherever possible. Well done.
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Love it. I'm actually quite entangled in a love that is forbidden at the current.
Red headed muse.
A love affair.
This poem speaks much more clearly then mine, however.
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I LOVE IT!
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Very good...I feel like this with my own lover, It does feel good doesn't it!
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Loved it! This was a fantastic write. It was very cute and rhyme-y, which is exactly my style :] I wrote one similar to this!
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This has a nice rhythm and a smooth, liquid flow to it. It's sweet, sexy and well-written. All-in-all, this poem is one nice little package. Great job!
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I love the descriptive wording and the way you make your words dance on the page. I love the way you speak of the first kiss. I remember being in love for the first time and all those fluttery feelings. I love the way you use the words:
Casual greetings, late night moans,
Your lips on mine when we're alone.
This explains more about the story than just saying the obvious and being too erotic. I loved the subtlety. This was an excellent poem.
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a lovely write for a truly beautiful moment of intimacy spent between two people. Nicely done.
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A fasicination for the beloved is the most sweet journey of the love..and this have been described here with a beautiful manner..thanks for sharing..well done..
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the flow worked well, easy to folow and articulate. I have a strong distain for rhyme but despite this i found some intrest and credit in your poem.
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Short and simple, good flow, and I liked the rhyme: it was very easy and light and worked well. Enjoyed your write.
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cuuuuuuute! really love the first half of the third stanza, though could be because intertwined is one of my favorite words ever. hehe.
if i would change anything, would be the second stanza... first line is a bit awkward...
overall though, its great. -
I like how describe the scene with the small details of it, not the actual scenario itself. But I don't see what's so forbidden about it, unless they're married or something...? Also, I feel the last rhyming couplet is overworked and that you could use something else to make it sound less trite and content, if this is a forbidden love. I like the rhythm and the flow.
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Not a fan of hard end-rhymes in poetry right now, reads too "Hallmark card" for me. More importantly, I don't see the "forbidden fruit" of this poem. What is "forbidden" about this particular love, this romance? Your notes reference another poem, but I think a poem should be able to stand on its own two feet. Maybe just change the title, because it doesn't fit this piece.
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well done
Flows well. Good rhythm. Good rhyme. A poem of warm sentiments. Effective.
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