It started with your fingers gently stroking the strings of a bass guitar
it started with another man with his hands around my waist swaying slowly to a song that we didn't need to sway too
The chills of winter continued it
sitting with my legs laying over an old lover, freezing our backs on metal chairs
and I did love him, and he loved me for a while too
Yet, you would nod and smile as you walked by the two of us, thinking nothing of it
It began with a heartbreak that was too hard for me to take
My old lover was now my enemy, he said he no longer loved me, and I wouldn't have him to lay my legs over in the winter
and I sat on the metal chair alone, while my friends went to get me tissues
and my tears burned the chap of my lips
But instead of a nod and a smile, you said hello and asked if I would be alright
I told you I didn't know, and you confirmed with a sad grin and got into your car
It started with the snow drying up, and you asking me if I wanted one of your cigarettes
And I said yes, and later that week you got fired from your job
So now when I went to sit in that lonely metal chair, you weren't there to keep me company with a protecting and knowing grin
It began when good friends split up, and a best friend made my old lover her own
and it began with old friends drinking beer and catching my tears in empty cans
It started as we all sat cross legged talking about why we didn't need the one's we thought we did
when all of a sudden you came down the stairs and you took a seat far from me
because you didn't know what to expect
And I looked at you and gave you a nod and a smile, and this time instead of a smile you said "hello Samantha"
And my face got hot, and the image of my old lover started fading out of the back of my head
It began with too much bud light and the smell of vodka on your breath
and for once I rested my head on your shoulder, and you scribbled seven digits on a piece of paper
And I asked you what to do with it
It started when I kissed another man
and you told me it hurt your feelings, and it was the first time I ever thought you might have felt something
so I took your hand and told you I only wanted to kiss you; so we did
And we didn't stop until it was 4:00 AM and I had to go home
The cold chills of winter are coming back now and I bought you a flannel to keep you warm
and you make me hot chocolate and lay in bed with me
and we avoid the metal chair, because we finally know how cold it makes our bodies, and incidentally our lives
and you tell me you love me, and that you are never going to stop
And I ask you to play your bass for me, because it really makes me believe you.
Author notes
I love you Clark.
**Heartbroken-Headcase**
A contest entry
- First contest,Four options, i'll love you forever if you enter? by Jaffa-.
560 points, ended November 11, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Randomness by xDemonicxAngelx.
1500 points, ended November 17, 2008, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I really liked this, I usually tend to like long poems yet with this one I was drawn in to every word. You did a good job with this and thanks for entering and good luck.
Take care
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You give a really good mental picture when people read your work. You make the reader feel like it's them going through every second you're describing and forcing them to recall memories of their own. I loved it over all
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I loved the imagery in this and the style of it
and it began with old friends drinking beer and catching my tears in empty cans
I also loved the symbol of the metal chair
great write
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I enjoyed the stream of consciousness style of writing and the story that you told. I think you could format this more effectively to give the reader a chance to pause between thoughts. Beginning and ending with a music reference helps to tie this poem together. Good luck in your contests. Peace, Liz
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also could you add what i asked you to add to the author notes please.
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Added, sorry. =]
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I enjoyed this. It was a real story of love and heartbreak. It could have don't with you describing emotions a little more thoughroughly and going into more detail. but overall it was a very good piece. well done and good luck.
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