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she's the quarter in my jukebox

 

You make my heart scream.
My mouth yells, singing love's anthem.
A new style of remix to oxygen
[I've never breathed this type of air before]

Maybe it's that I've never been
so in love.

My heart is doing the waltz
and making me sing soprano.
I remember your favorite song
and I'm singing it over and over.
[all of this is for you, my love]

 

 

Author notes

Prompt -

[.1.] Exerpt from Pablo Neruda's Sonnet XVII

"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."

10 lines (I actually have 11)

Option: 3. Write me a good love poem!

A word that starts with 'K' - Kangaroo

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • Beautiful Irony
    December 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this. Like Blossom of promise has said before me, it's a good take on Pablo Neruda's poem.

    It's brilliantly thoughtful and very beautiful. It's a very refreshing look at love, not cynical or anything like the dark spin that's so often put on love.

    I love the line "A new style of remix to oxygen/[I've never breathed this type of air before]"

    Also, a brilliantly fitting title, very clever.

    Thank you for entering my contest.

    Sarah


  • Sunkissed xo
    November 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aww what a sweet write!
    I like your take on love, it's quite unique and refreshing. It certainly is tender and full of feeling! Nice take on Pablo Neruda's poem to
    Ooo yeah and I loved the title! So cute.
    Thanks so much for entering the contest!
    Have a great day.
    Peace ♥


  • Sky Princess
    November 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love this poem, it is sooo sweet and thoughtful.


  • Blooming Poet
    November 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Love can be a whirl wind of emotions, mostly good. I like that title


  • movedon
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I swear i read this before..i just dont know why i never commented!!!!!!

    i love it. great metahpor for love. another fine write brother.

    Mylee

  • Seaquince
    October 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i love the author notes.... someone was in the right mood to right as such... beautiful

    your poem, is fresh and all we need now is a strawberry thick shake and 2 straws....


  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    October 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your beautiful entry, Josie


  • Little Miss Mental
    October 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing!

    oh my goodness this was magical

    "A new style of remix to oxygen, [I've never breathed this type of air before]."

    this was something worth reading many times over, and I really enjoyed this. Good job and the best of luck to you ♥Rhi


  • Poetic Tasha Moderators member
    October 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    woot woot! go love! lol
    great write! and thanks for entering hun!
    best of luck to ya!

    Tasha

1 - 9 of 9