I dared myself boldly to take new steps,
make a new d.a.n.c.e.,
and definitely -allow myself-
to f
a
l
l
in ♥.
I thought things would end up g/o/o/d/
if I didn't improvised at all,
so I just thought of some words
that somehow couldn't come out.
&& bravery was b*u*r*i*e*d* under
10 pounds of low self-esteem.
It all went c*r*a*s*h*i*n*g
d
o
w
n
when you dared yourself mischievously to
reply the word I truly d.e.s.p.i.s.e.
I stood [arm-crossed] while you share your victorious grin,
flashing bright tusks && looking up for easy bait.
Once again I let my numbed ♥ be used as some utensil.
You drove in your knife-liked words && dragged my whole self
through the frontyard of rejection.
I reminded myself; "don't worry, after 27 attempts at finding love, you will find it, you just need to have a lil'faith"
Yeah, like that kind of s.h.i.t. could happen to me
hope is the one thing I will always scarce from having...
So everynight I pray that I can find the true road
that might l.e.a.d. to where my other half awaits
for me to come, even though my ♥ tells me it's H.O.P.E.L.E.S.S.
&& my head tells me I'm reading too much vampire books...
I might be drowning here with pure && uncut love
&& still I know you don't F.U.C.K.I.N.G. care at all
because you only care for what I reserve to give out
while I care for the things you can't w.i.l.l.i.n.g.l.y. give away...
I sighed at the thought of you with her,
I just can't understand what carved beauty you find in such a beast?
This feels like a d.a.g.g.e.r. protruding from my chest,
piercing the one thing I was willing to prove best;
So it's upset && it's set,
you took the one love you can't never obtain
while I s/i/t/ here on the back of the bus
w.a.i.t.i.n.g. for you to look back && notice
there's still one guest waiting to get to the bus stop ride...
~♥~
Author notes
**Heartbroken-Headcase**
XXVampireeyesXX
option 2
A contest entry
- First contest,Four options, i'll love you forever if you enter? by Jaffa-.
560 points, ended November 11, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Never Again Will This Hurt Me
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
Wow. As I have said many times you really have a knack for dirty pretty. Your imagery is excellent. Several phrases stand out above the rest:
I stood [arm-crossed] while you share your victorious grin,
flashing bright tusks && looking up for easy bait.
Once again I let my numbed ♥ be used as some utensil.
while I s/i/t/ here on the back of the bus
w.a.i.t.i.n.g. for you to look back && notice
These lines really stood out as very original. Great job.
Mike
-
I liked this alot andf i thought it was a very good storyline. But i thought through some of the wording didn't make a lot of sense. I liked the way you used dirty pretty though. It was very nice. good luck in the competition.
-
-
I am glad you liked it.I can't seem to find which parts of my poem you didn't understand, its very clear to me, this is very personal and Honestly I took the prompt to the phase I'm goin thru right now. So please, be so kind to tell me what is it with my wording, I think I did a pretty nicejob here, by expressing things I can barely let out
-
-
I did think that you did an amazing job. Don't get me wrong. I just thought it might have been typing errors or somthing that disturbed the flow. For example 'if i didn't improvised at all', ' when yourself to mischiecously to reply the word i truly despise' ' hope is the one thing i will always scarce from having'
It was just little things like that. I know writing thisd out must have been hard. It is a really brilliant poem. but i found it hard to read because of the typing errors. -
-
hmmm I did re-read the poem, even had a friend read it for me I found it good. But anyways I won't discuss over it, it's silly of to do so when I know I did my best
-
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
