What is it about the peach?
Maybe
it’s the pseudo-sexual swell
of her shape -
the delicate flaws that create true beauty
and in their subtlety, sensuousness.
Or is it the joy of her high colour -
or the rich scent of fuzzy sweetness
that mingles with that of cardboard boxes
in the heat of July.
Somehow,
without talking,
I find myself able
to answer a question
that I didn’t even know
I had the answer to…
Who Bites the Peach?
©crisstiena
Author notes
Prompt: peach
Image: wild peaches by *geaannunziata@deviantART
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Beautifully written! I think your descriptions suited the subject well and I loved the subtle ending--the way it circle back to the title.
"And porcupines
drank fiery wines
and goats ate tapioca"
--Roald Dahl, James and the Giant Peach
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Sighhh...
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peaches have it all over oranges that's for sure. I don't know if i always bite them but ... anyways i'm drifting.
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who needs constant meter when you have peach semen dribbling down richter scale pay weights at dawn? to me, the meter was right on through the whole piece - let those without rhythm stand at the end of the line...
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i agree with Rowan about the "peach of immortality" stanza.
Otherwise, i like this
.
thanks for entering.
.silver.
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I pulled that stanza. I don't know where i was going with that either
Sometimes one just needs a critical eye. Thanks.
~ c -
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thank you for not throwing a fit about my crit.
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yes, yes you did. The only stanza I don't know about is;
"Who stole
the peaches of immortality.."
it doesn't seem to have the same kind of feel/meter to the rest. I loved the smells created with crated peaches, and your decription of textures was bang on.
Ending was perfect.
Really good work.
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I pulled that stanza. I don't know where i was going with that either
Thanks for always commenting. It means a lot to me.
~ c
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