I just don't know what to do with myself
as soon as I find someone to trust
they stab me in the back
I am walking a fine line
full of broken glass
I am walking an endless path
through a medow of dispair
alone and heart broken
trudging upon a bridge of broken dreams
and breathing in toxic air
I am gasping for a glimpse of who I really am
since I lost all the hope I had left
I am curious about who I will become
I am building a stair way of tears
trying to exit this pain
creating a trail behind me
of memories and the crimson I slain
I am running through a forest of lost dreams
looking for an answer
somewhere in the tree tops
I hope I find an answer to all my questions
I am choking on my goodbye
in this evening of rememberence and pain
I will have soon found the exit door
to this Life on the run I couldn't take
A contest entry
- Say It All by Aun Ali.
600 points, ended October 28, 2008, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please give me your honest opinion on what you truly think of this piece I will return the favor...*muah* (redhanded)
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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What a great and moving write babe. I can see why it won gold. It was very aptly deserved. The imagery is fantastic.
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i kind of feel this poem as i can relate..
thanks for sharing..
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This is quite a good poem with delightful flow and says so much. someone who seeks to find who they are. Did you know that you won't find anyone to trust until you learn to trust yourself and your own emotions. Your write was full of such beautiful words that though sad mad me smile. I especially love the line, 'I am building a stairway of tears' That is sheer beauty in itself. You definately have this down pat. This looks like one of your early writes but even so, was just wonderful. (I see you got gold for it to - well done indeed).
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thanks so much for your comment and your words of advice it is greatly appreciated
best of luck to you in the future and with your writing.
andi
(redhanded)
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Here is a poem that does say it all. The unanswerable question forever being asked, who am I?
All I can say is, you will find out one day, probably when you stop asking yourself. A really teriffic write with emotions laid bare. A worthy winner.
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aw thank you very much for your comment I greatly apprecited it. best of luck to you in the future and with your writing.
andi
(redhanded) -
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You are welcome. May I wish you the best of luck in the future and with your own writing. They say life wasn't meant to be easy, but if you hang in there it will come out OK in the end. I guess that's pretty right, too.
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It Says It All
This piece has originality in it and this is what I intended for in the contest. I express my sympathy with you, thank you for this entry and good luck.
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thank you very much for your kinds words and commenting my poem. best of luck to you in the future and with your writing.
andi
(redhanded)
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Life sure feels that way a lot lately, a countless kick in the throat, i wish i could give you some words of comfort and mean it, but all i can say is keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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