They say she was a model lover
Well-known around these parts
She played classical piano
in the backseat of the car
They called her dedicated,
committed to the cause
She played the imperfection card
and hid away her flaws
She appeared on the eve of summer
with dreamers in her eyes,
telling tales of the winter ‘cause
the boys all loved her lies
She’d say she was a dancer,
a mistress to the king
A slave, a witch, a marionette,
whatever life could bring
‘Cause when the nights are growing colder
You feel you’re getting older
while your mind is somewhere else
It’s easy to be loved
Easy to be touched
But her mind was somewhere else,
Oh her mind was somewhere else
They say she was a model lover
Well-known around these parts
She played avant-garde piano
in the backseat of the car
They say she was a gypsy
and black magic was her tune
She walked naked but for crystals
and spoke the language of the moon
She stole their hearts and whiskey
and they couldn’t care to mind
She flickered as their cigarette and
swapped their souls with wine
They’d tell her that they loved her,
convinced she felt the same
She’d just smile and weave her magic,
before skipping town again
‘Cause when the nights are growing colder
You feel you’re getting older
It gets harder to pretend
It’s easy to be loved
Easy to be touched
And it hurts and heals to just pretend
It hurts and heals to just pretend
They say she was a model lover
Well-known around these parts
She played the loneliest piano
In the backseat of the car
They found her in the morning
at the bottom of the lake
They buried her, declaring:
“Life’s an odd mistake.”
They say she was a model lover, yet
she never loved herself.
She felt she was getting older and
her mind was somewhere else.
Author notes
well, here's me trying to write lyrics again. the rough feel and beat is inspired by Bright Eyes' Classic Cars and Arcade Fire, but only pretty loosely. It's a tragic tale of a lonely gypsy girl who happens to be a damn fine seductress. uh huh.
A contest entry
- SAD Poetry--- Let Me Have Your Best by Ativan.
900 points, ended November 2, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lyrics Contest- your own music!!! by couldbeworse.
550 points, ended January 19, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
constructive criticism, pleeeeease? :-)
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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fav stanza:
They say she was a model lover
Well-known around these parts
She played the loneliest piano
In the backseat of the car
They found her in the morning
at the bottom of the lake
They buried her, declaring:
“Life’s an odd mistake.”
I thought it was really well done. thanks for entering!
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Very well done, my best wishes.
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damn it wont work * collapses crying*
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lol i'm just adding another comment so i can give your more applauses you deserve them
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becca this is just awesome, my word choice is a little crazy but whatever... ilove the story in this
it is captivating... welll donnne hhoneyy
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This is very sweet, and there is a lot of beautiful imagery and emotions. I enjoyed reading this; Thank you for sharing.
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Wow...I love the story that unfolds through these lyrics, and the imagery is wonderful. I'd love to hear the music that goes with these words
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The repition makes it too long and hard to read. Now, the part of playing the piano in the back seat of the car was clever and I liked that. However, it could be shortened drastically which would make it an even better poem. Also one of the first stanza's starts with 'Cause. Take that out. You are not writing a story, but a poem. Nevertheless, I really enjoyed it and wish you good luck in the contest. Take my criticism lightly and you, ofcourse do not have to accept it. I cannot spell worth a damn but I do not care. Do what you think is best and take people's thoughts into consideration but you are the ultimate reviewer. Good job
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she lived a life of passion
to hide away the pain
until that day they realized
they'd never see her again
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