I have squandered my sanity
along with braincells and health.
Pissed off loved ones,
pissed on governing ones,
and agitated the rest.
All for the glorious debauchery
in pursuing that which is simply
. . . me.
Seldom fully understood,
though often embraced,
but only till the thorns emerge.
Angst I try to sequester
with gross amounts
of cheap wine
and quality herb.
Psychedelic delights now only sporadic
as decades of abuse
have rendered my hands shaking
and thoughts erratic.
I squandered my sanity
in the arena of failed love
while succeeding at romance
and transcending sensualism.
Squandered it in bars,
shared bedrooms,
and back alleys
with whores, lovers,
and "ancient barbituates".
Swallowing any shallow escape
while being swallowed
down to my swollen grapes.
Self destruction while shoveling dirt
into a void that will never be filled.
I'm not mad, just a little ill.
Author notes
prompt : Squandered sanity
A contest entry
- Individual Prompts.... by kiwigirljacks.
700 points, ended November 4, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I TRIED TO KILL THE PAIN BUT ONLY BROUGHT MORE by Reanna Eryn.
400 points, ended May 1, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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wow, this is a poem that really impacts!
damn great write!
do you hear the strength in this!
ears/Seattle
great write!
touches all our cores.
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shhhhh ya gonna make my muse blush. lol thnx
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this was something to think on, a great poem here,
Squandered it in bars,
shared bedrooms,
and back alleys
with whores, lovers,
and "ancient barbituates".
That was you, i thought i was the only one, keep it flowing and congrads on the HM -
Wonderful
Very creative and so well expressed. Congratulations on the honorable mention.
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thanx hoss
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I love how self-aware this is, it makes me smile.
"I'm not a mad, just a little ill."
Perfect ending; made me smile even more.
Jessica
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groovy
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How amny things in life have we over-indulged in to try so hard to fill voids that never end...this is excellent...and words I know all to well...
"I have squandered my sanity
along with braincells and health.
Pissed off loved ones,
pissed on governing ones,
and agitated the rest."
"I squandered my sanity
in the arena of failed love
while succeeding at romance
and transcending sensualism."
This are my favorite parts...best to you!
mystic
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Thanks so much, glad you enjoyed. I was soo close to file 13 ing this one after writing it, thougth it too personal; but I am glad I posted it anyway. Again, thnx.
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Damn that's excellent! I've squandered many things myself in an effort to fill the void, yet it remains empty from such things and sanity finds itself fleeting at those times.
Well done on the prompt!
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all we can do is enjoy the waves, ride the rush, and holla for more.
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Wow… this is very different from your other work.
I’m emotionally hanged on this one! Could relate to a certain extent with some of your confessions or perhaps they’re only experiences. Either way, you really just said it all, shoved it up everyone’s face for the world to witness!
“I squandered my sanity
in the arena of failed love
while succeeding at romance
and transcending sensualism.”
… here is where my eyes teared up.
Your write is so intense I’m afraid to read it again!
Its emotionally draining and heart wrenching, the lifetime of abuse and internal as well as external struggle…. Mmm !
Love the humor in the end “I’m not mad, just a little ill”, even though ironically, it saddened me, felt like you were saying it out of so much agony in oppose to humor.
A very obscure side of you, Mr. Lunar Mystery =) lol
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that was touching, very...
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"Squandered sanity"
Let me know if that works for you, if not I will try another
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sooo sorrry gal. I was suppose to return last night but my consumption grossly exceeded my tolerance.
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Are you going to complete this or should I remove it from the contest? I'm judging
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