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Love With a Dash of Salt

Salt of the sea,
glistening lips,
tears of frustration,
musk and frenzy.

Seaweed runs riot
In a tangle of legs;
raucous dark room,
headboard pounding.

Slipping and sliding
on sweat soaked sheets.
Blind joyous heat
on big waves gliding.

Oh, why so sad;
why so sad now?
Stinging salt of the sea

Author notes

Young joyous love--but nothing is perfect.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • his kiss
    July 12
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    Where's the erotica?


  • ArtRocks27
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    Short, sweet and to the point! LOL Its an enticing poem that, as you mentioned above, portrays a young love. Not sure if you meant it this way but to me its almost as if you were trying to show that love, be it young or old, can last as long as the sea if given the passion and affection from each person. Thank you for sharing this with me and thank you for entering in my contest!

    Maggie


  • Epona
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    subtle sensuous imagery, the rhythm is great as well, really adds to the sea metaphor. it works on bith levels- without sacrificing one meaning to portray the other. actually kinda reminds me of the folktales you get about selkies (i think thats what they're called??) the sea creatures that transform into humans and get stuck on land, pining for the sea.
    anyway its a beautiful write, really love it
    E~


  • Shenanigans
    November 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    aagh! It deleted all the rest of my epically long comment. I said, "Oh wow! you gave me just what I asked for! Subtle erotica that wasn't porn!! yaaay you! I truly love how you penned this--your use of sense-words (taste, glisten) pulls readers in at the beginning, and your handling of the sexy parts was not only original and tactful, but also re-iterated the sea theme. I also love the last three lines--they're so surprising and yet so perfect--they add meaning and give it a kind of lyrical quality with the last line "Singing of salt in the sea." (< ) *insert applause here* --Shannon


  • Shenanigans
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow!! you gave me just what I asked for! Subtle erotica that wasn't porn!! yaaaay you! I truly love how you penned this--


  • just mercedes gold member
    October 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is great, it speaks to me of the surrender of sex, and the sadness afterwards. Beautifully drawn.


  • pumpykin
    October 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love how this is clearly about sex, but it's so cleverly worded that it can be just as equally about the sea

1 - 7 of 7