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take me there

i.
Slipping high school love notes into his locker

with a heart shape key enclosed,hoping he'll know
just hoping he'll know.

[take me there to a time where innocence was our greatest flaw]

 

ii.

Tugging at my heartstrings trying to find the perfect harmony that blends oh so well with your melody only to find myself lost along with other foolish girls who fell for those radioactive emerald  eyes, maybe someone should put a warning sign that screams deceitful and home to heartbreak on those eyes.

 

[take me there to a time where love was desired more then lust ]

 

 

iii.

She makes wishes on shooting stars she knows wont come true but she makes them anyway just in case.She watches the sunset hoping he's looking at the moon at the same time.She dreams of fingers playing in her hair getting tangled and hearing him whisper he loves her with watermelon scented breath.She spends her nights sleepless with a fear he wont be there when she wakes.

 

 

not yet done just the beginning

Author notes

she still believes


i dont know where the picture is from i just love the picture and its becoming a habit to use it in my poems.

i may change the third stanza im not sure about it.

A contest entry

What do you think of the title?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • twelveandahalf
    November 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Quite a pretty little piece you have here. Flows nicely, good imagery. Some of it sounds a bit forced though but all in all lovely.


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    November 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely loved this. I loved "those radioactive emerald eyes." What a description. It was all very well written and deeply emotional.
    Write on.
    ~*~SP~*~


  • Chanson belle
    November 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i love this, absolutly love this its really amazing <3


  • havoc.haley
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    beautiful.

    I love the line
    "maybe someone should put a warning sign that screams deceitful and home to heartbreak on those eyes."
    I could oh so relate to this poem, keep writing :]


  • lacef
    November 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    that should be more than 12 lines


  • aanika
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    radioative emerald eyes

    that's pretty.
    sorry, I let you know that the contest would be judged by now, so the fact that you're not done kind of guarantees that you won't place.
    too bad, I liked this poem a lot.
    thanks for entering ! <3


  • lianna27
    November 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i love this!! is a great start let me know when u finish it


  • Dark Prince Chaos
    October 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    omg this was great i loved it wen you ... i mean aasing lol hay let me know wen this one done kay looks intresting


  • aanika
    October 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    your title is:

    take me there

1 - 10 of 10