Unable to Leave, Unwilling to Stay

A force, unyielding...neverending;
One powerful enough to drive me to insanity,
The break between reality and ideal.
An ideal: two hearts, joined forevermore
So in love, all flaws and wrongdoings
Are erased, no longer in existance.
Embracing each other, feeding from the other:
Needing no other sustenance;
Quiet fires in the dark abyss of life
Shining brightly, bearing a banner
Brighter than any sun or star
The reality: a choice to be made,
Neither option desirable or pain-free...
And I lose something either way
I become the beggar woman,
Watching her life gallop away into the fog...
Become hollow.

Held above a precipice until the choice is made.
Bloody lips utter something unintelligible
For I cannot make a choice.
I want to do what is right, and right is not clear at the present time.
Rhyme, reason, nor logic have a home here anymore.
I want both and can have neither.
Scrutiny so tight, I can not please you either.
If I please you, I lose you;
If I lose you, I please you, and pass as well;
If I love you, I suffer too.
How can anything good come of this hell?
Afraid to please you, lose you, love you...
Fearing the outcome of any of these
Will result in the biggest loss of all:
You.