Thursday, November 06, 2008
10:30am
I’m awake, somehow
I don’t even remember going to sleep
I must’ve passed out again.
the reflection in the mirror
looks discolored today,
worn out almost.
10:42am
I’m lying awake,
on the floor where I woke up,
shivering, watching the vibrations
that my lungs make.
1:17pm
I like autumn colors.
I realized while sitting outside
in the cold wind
trying to prepare myself
for my meeting with you.
3:30pm
you came an hour too late,
at least this time you showed up.
I had nothing to say so you left.
and you’re never coming back this time.
5:48pm
I cried.
I miss the summer
when you used to pick me up
and put me on your shoulders.
we’d go swimming, as carefree as sparrows.
why did it have to end?
I miss the stars
and that day when we stayed up all night
just to watch the meteor shower.
do I miss the memories, or do I really, really miss you?
I’m undecided.
7:04pm
my mind draws a blank on what I did today.
it's dark out already,
I watch the smoke curl away from my lips.
I promised I wouldn't,
but I have nothing else left
too fully call my own.
7:21pm
it's your fault for showing me
how to live as a disaster,
but with you I was always beautiful,
now I'm just destroyed and confused.
8:29pm
it’s been a while since I’ve eaten,
hunger is my only consequence
and thin is my only reward,
-if it can even count as that.
is this my reward?
being forced to write out my day
just so I can remember it the next morning.
ps. all the times not mentioned
was when I drank on an empty stomach.
I only experiance 'en bloc' blackouts now,
the 'fragmentary' ones have long since stopped.
Author notes
mesmerized--x
title: 13. my sky without you.
it's hard to remember, I think my memory shut off.
..the actual poem was written on thursday november 6th 2008, as the day progressed.
In a list
- diary; • next in list
- vignettes; • next in list
- honorable mention; • next in list
- manipulation; • next in list
A contest entry
- it starts with one. by aanika.
910 points, ended November 13, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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"do I miss the memories, or do I really, really miss you?
I’m undecided."
I love that you show your uncertainty without fear.
"too fully call my own." ---> "to fully call my own."
7.21pm
I feel like that, it's not a good feeling.
I think this was one of the first poems of yours I read, and it's been in my bookmarks because I was too awed to every comment on it without feeling embarrassed.
I still feel embarrassed because nothing I could ever say about this poem will ever compare to the excellence with which you wrote it.
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Its um very disturbing but true to some people! thanks for the write!
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the reflection in the mirror
looks discolored today,
worn out almost.
10:42am
I’m lying awake,
on the floor where I woke up,
shivering, watching the vibrations
that my lungs make.
beautiful.
I know how hard this was for you.
I want you to know I'm always here
and I'm so happy that you've gotten better lately.
this was an amazing poem. -
Beautiful. A lot of us can relate to this.
-
made me cry cause i can relate to wanting to block everything out... i needed a good cry though so thank u- thank you so much for sharing this.
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I love the layout of this piece. And sadly, it makes sense to me. I have been there and chances are good that I will be there again. It's nice to know I am not alone. Nice job!
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your title is:
my sky without you.
Adding your comment:
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