I tore the stitches made from the threads
of your over-worn sweatshirt from my purblind eyes
to realize that I never unwrapped strategy
well enough from your hand-made wooden box
stained with pink and ruby jewels glued on
by my child-like hands
that once finger painted lullabies
for every untouched & distinct element
that I could grasp with my beclouded eyes,
but not with my fatal heart strings;
ranging from long-legged insects
to a contradicted & overused 4-letter-word
[love];
you had might as well admitted to
your faults then and there,
when a cramp daunted in my neck from
resting it ever-so diligently on your shoulder,
but you instead told me I was your warmth
and crept your arm around my fragile body
to move me closer, so I now inhaled
your cheap cologne,
as my hopes tip-toed to their highest length;
I was letting you let me down again.
I can see you from the corner of my eye,
watching me as I spit out my vocal cords and
lip-sync myself through life, and even though
you tackle the mishappenings of my unfortunes
or question my emotions when I'm no doubt
not okay,
you're far from perfection yourself,
and maybe I was counting on you to show me
that I didn't have to step on glass or inflict
more imprints from my teeth as I'd bite my tongue,
so the words were trapped within my glands and
never escaping from my lips,
but you handed me a hand-made wooden box
closed shut with cheap masking tape
and encrypted with my tears that you collected
from my bloodshot eyes within the past six months,
it kills me that you know,
that this
is the way I cry.
A contest entry
- it starts with one. by aanika.
910 points, ended November 13, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
feedback would be greatly appreciated :D
Comments
-
wow
another awesome poem Manduh
you really brought the pain into the words
and your imagery was magnificent -
I never unwrapped strategy
good enough
good enough --> well enough
you had might as well admitted to
your faults then and there,
strange grammar.
as I spit out my vocal cords and
lip-syncing myself through life,
should either be "spitting out my vocal cords and lip-syncing"
or "spit out my vocal cords and lip-sync"
I think this could use some edits. you have a lot of run-on sentences and awkward phrasing and I think you use too many long words, which interrupts the flow.
however, I LOVED most of your ideas, and I guess that's what poetry is really about.
this was beautiful, especially the ending.
sorry if I was harsh about the grammar, I'm going to be very critical on all entries in this contest.
I love you babe,
good job.
-
your title is:
the way I cry.
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