Her monocle envisions a peculiar presage
The chanter humming truth
a spirit of life. Thunderbolts.
praying, singing- on the cloud
The chanter humming truth
One's song-a piece in the attic
praying,singing-on the cloud
Such brazen trance bellows,specific,separate.
One's song- a piece in the attic
holds heart in throbs to still the void.
Such brazen trance bellow specific,separate
Regenerative sighing balm
Holds heart in throbs to still the void.
is the shaking , quaking strewn lamb
regenerative sighing balm
bespeaking rasps with integral chill
deaths hoofs sealed as she writhes
Fitting and spitting. The hooter
Bellowing from her reptilian gape
death's hooves sealed as she writhes.
and thundering forever
Bellowing from her reptilian gape
Her orders from a blackened grave
and thundering forever
how the rotten cape of censor pages
Her orders from a blackened, open grave
Open scare upon fierce daze of face
How the rotten cape of censor pages
to catch, adrift,the upper onward star
Open scar on fierce daze of face
throws of the witch writhing upon thunderclaps
to catch, adrift, the upper onward star
her monocle envisioning peculiar presage
Author notes
I Rock.That crinkled paper reminds me of the chaos of a crinkled witch holiday!
A contest entry
- Journeys of the mind, the transformation by Dark Otter.
530 points, ended November 3, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 2008 Allpoetry Halloween Bash by Little Eagle.
12350 points, ended November 21, 2008, 61 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Halloween Spooktacular ( not for free verse, but form poetry only) by grannyeri.
1000 points, ended November 1, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just come on in,I don't feel like writing a huge eye catching title 203;203;203;203;203;203;​&# by SmartBrick.
400 points, ended November 2, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please use constructive criticism!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Thank you for your entry
Well structured and flowing pantoum you have here. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for entering. Good luck in the contest and thank you for following the rules.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment
Happy Halloween and God Bless
Tammy
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This is a remarkable pantoum. It is a difficult form and you nailed it. One constructive criticism is that since the lines will repeat it is wonderful if you can set at least some of them up so they mean something different the second time they are used. This helps break the monotony of the repeating and allows for the poem to have each line say something seperate, even though half of them are the same. That is the true challenge of the pantoum. The best pantoum writer on AP is Myrataal. If you have not seen hers, I would suggest you check them out. Quite frankly, I think there is no better poet than her on AP.
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you do rock!Great!This one was good.I'm not very talented with big words,but it was awesome anyway.
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A wonderful poem, but this contest only requested up to 7 lines or a haiku or tanka chain of three verses. Sorry.
This makes wonderful reading and hope You do well in some of the other contests.
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Quite unususual!
On further reflection I see demented genius speaking of itself in a masturbatory excess of genuine reflection. 'Cloud of the Witch' shows attempts at reaching deeper and farther than you have ever gone before. A pantoum is a difficult form to express these thoughts. A salute for making such an attempt. Not knowing the form I can't criticize the thought fairly that is contained within. All I knew is that I wanted I like the basic idea enough that I wanted to tweak it. Keep growing, poet.
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