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Intoxication

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   I sang to the melody
   of champagne flutes,
   the lilting tempo
   crystalline glasses.
 
   As withered flowers grew
   in moldy fish-tanks.
   I breathed
   their intoxicating aroma.
   the allure of nightshade...

   A curious cacophony
   of clicking cups
   invades my head.

   I drowned
   in my wine glass
   as the world bred
   technicolour bubbles.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

_escaped into life.   by *adeadrockstar


It's -I can't say because Cassie is threatening to eat Jorge again-

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Reanna Eryn
    February 25
    Edit | Reply
    I'm so stunded. I don't know what to say. Wow...


  • Twelve-and-Charlie
    November 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Vivid--I can't help but feel a pressing blur of emotions and colors and the thought of, *one more drink* as I read this, imagining what the narrator must be feeling.


  • Lololololol123234
    November 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    All I can really say is wow because this is defiantly well written


  • In The Twilight
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is a take on intoxication that definitely sparks the word unique. this is so much different than the average, normal take on intoxication and your vivid imagery is a talent you definitely portray well. and as for your ending, i thought it was consistent with the rest...i saw no weakness and i think it is best as it is.


  • Never Fall in Love
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That beginning is to die for!

    "I sang to the melody
    of champagne flutes,
    the lilting tempo
    crystalline glasses."

    I think, though, that your ending needs to be stronger. It just doesn't match up to the intensity and imagery of the rest of the poem.


  • PerfectSolitude
    November 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is simply great! I love how well you use sensory images in this......I can almost hear the "cacophony of clicking cups." Great work!


  • And Hyetal
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hehehe, you already know what I think of this. I helped you edit it.

    you better not say anything bad about this.


  • ConjurerCaptainTam
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is absoloutly wicked.
    You have such a tasty tounge for words.
    & i have a suspection of your dying awareness of inhumanity we are forced to suffer each day

    bEAutiful.
    x


  • PerfectImperfection
    October 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is just incredible. Great play on words, the alliteration is powerful and smooth to go alongside your flow here. You have a knack for imagery and that thought provoking essence, I especially enjoyed:

    "As withered flowers grew
    in moldy fish-tanks.
    I breathed
    their intoxicating aroma.
    the allure of nightshade..."

    Gorgeous ... Excellent write!

  • dx d by me
    October 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this piece very much, each line a foray into an intoxicating possibility. "the allure of nightshade " is a favorite line! Geo


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    October 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Fabulous job!!

1 - 11 of 11