Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Isolation’s Observations





I am more than a number;
an unidentified pedestrian of road rage,
a far away face reflecting
obscured clouds;

I am greater than the tears
I will not let you see.

Pardon me
as I spread
jumbled emotion;
purge myself
and walk away.

I want to protect my daughter
from my own morbidity.

Tell you that I am confused
as I have grown ashamed
questioning a life
where so much depends upon bandwidth;

stroking keys incapable of love.

That while walking alone
along a lake,
I witness maples burn their way to Christmas
and wondered about birthdays and resurrections,

about all the dreams I have crucified
while acid rains bleach away
the landscape of youth’s determination.

I am pondering an empty space
that could be beautiful;
arguing my own charts of navigation.


                    After dotting the bottom
                    of a blank page
                    with crayons,
                    green and red, 
                    I watch her broad, innocent smile
                    as she casually smears 
                    blue paint across this offering.

And I understand
the impact of a single blade of grass
in a field of desolation.




























A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Kevin Moderators member
    May 15

    Edit | Reply
    the line unidentified pedestrian of road rage, ' felt a bit too specific for the start of the poem. Plus, you just identified them? pedestrian is very wordy too... perhaps just someone in your way?


  • iamlost gold member
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    "questioning a life
    where so much depends upon bandwidth;

    stroking keys incapable of love."

    Wow. I really don't think I can comment that well on this; it touched me too deeply and said things to me that I would ruin by trying to put them into words. I know there is nothing I would change, nothing I would add; it's already so full of meaning that it leaves me breathless. This is what poetry should be. I aspire to one day reach this level.


    ~lost


  • toomysterious
    May 13

    Edit | Reply
    Amazingly beautiful. All that you have captured here, mourning the loss of innocence and celebrating it in the same breath; mingling your regrets with the joy found in the wonder of childhood. I can not think of anything that would improve this at all.


  • a59teeth
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    wonderful last lines!! the whole is very deep and gripping but those last lines are so wise and heart warming! lovely write!


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    May 11

    Edit | Reply
    So glad to see this piece make it into the prelims for this part of the AP book. Exceptional perception and depth as always. Congratulations dear soul. ~Pamela


  • Jesann gold member
    October 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow...You can feel a mixed flow of thoughts & emotion expressed here, which incites an emotional response in the reader!!
    Raw, real, sharp edged, painful, cynical, contemplative...Love it!!
    "....dreams I have crucified as acid rains bleach away the landscapes of youth's determination"
    "...the impact of a single blade of grass in a field of desolation"
    Amazing imagery!! Great background too!!


  • redhanded
    October 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow. I rather enjoyed this piece it is so sad but so real at the same time I loved your descriptions they were very unique and classy. Best of luck to you in the future and with your writing.
    andi
    (redhanded)

1 - 7 of 7