Build the bonfire for Samhain to keep;
burn the bones of both cattle and sheep;
clean the house for winter’s sleep;
store each of the crops that you’ve reaped.
We dance the Maypole to stir the vine.
Now, we store the seed for planting time.
The world of flesh and spirit find
the circle closer when the moon cast’s its rime.
Now’s the time to make amends
with your past and with your friends.
Remember the wars arise, once put to an end;
spirits speak to tell what the future portends.
Modern man dreams in glass and steel,
follows the cycle of the sun to see what’s real.
Those who know the measure of life is pealed
away in opal moon and the changing shades of leaf,
follow the path cast in vine and green,
listen to the oak long in root, ravens seen
counted for the children to be born, What we mean
by harmony between spirited heart field and stream
is found in phases of the moon and the time of Samhain.
The honored dead, heroes past and those who remain
able to keep the old gods ways, walk the garden and lanes
to their homes for All Saints Eve in a world far from tame.
12:11 AM
10/27/08
Alexandria, VA
Author notes
Blue Rew has a contest that asks for a poem about Samhain, the time when the phases of the moon say the crops are reaped and winter is in the next turn, the time when the spirit world and the physical world are closest and the wall between is thin.
I am intrigued and have never written on this subject. So I looked up Samhain on Wickapedia and started writing.
This is my first poem. It is step one in getting a good poem, hopefully, written. First, I have to regurgitate what I know in a poetic style. Then, I begin the job of finding symbols, color, metaphor, simile and most of all the spirit and energy that drive the experience. At last, the poem I will enter in her contest will be created. I hope it will be a good prize winning poem.
Since part of this sites objective is to increase our understanding in poetry and our ability to convey poetically, I thought I would share step one. Later when I have written my final poem I will link it back to this one. Hopefully it will be helpful to some, increase insight and understanding for others.
The next rough draft is http://allpoetry.com/poem/4722299
Peace, Tom B.
Please tell me what you think, what it makes you feel, how you are moved.
Comments
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This moves along well and draws in many aspects of Samhain. But as you note, it does not explode with metaphor, symbols or colour. I also liked that in the third and final version, you did away with much of the end-rhyme. I think it gave the final
piece an elegance and a slight bit of reverance for the subject. Excellent to see a poet willing to explore new matter and expand their abilities in an attempt to interest others as they read expressive poetry that is obviously written with much care.
Blue
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Rhyme is often my minds way of being poetic while making a report. You might be surprised by the number of first drafts and sketches that start out this way. Often it takes a good first line and a real sense of the larger metaphor for me to create the poem. I also wanted to let people in to get a sense of my workshop. Everyone has their process or processes that let them become atuned to their muse. I am always curious how people arrive at the final product. Thought i would share a little of mine. Glad you enjoyed.
Love, Tom B.
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I believe you have done a wonderful job
an impressive tribute to Samhain
and to a wonderful poetess
bravo
well done and good luck in the contest
hugs
moon2u
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This poem, "Remember the Rite" and "The Path of Blood and Bone" are a series of poems on the same theme but with different treatments. My rough drafts so to speak as I worked my way to the final one. I try to write complete works when I work on a theme. Generally crafting each to accent a view point or a perspective. Then once done I will edit and correct but that is just scut work. Getting the right slant is what matters. This felt a little to much like an over view and didn't capture the feelings I wanted held in the words. I am glad you enjoyed it. I meant it to be worthy of a fruitful read and to give back to the reader. I am glad you feel I succeeded. I mention the others because I think you might enjoy the journey. The links are in the Author's Notes at the bottom of each poem.
Love,
Tom B. -
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Thankyou for sending me link to the rough draft
I missed that when reading the final copy.
I have left you a comment and I have to tell you that I enjoyed both of them
hugs Moony
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Flawless in rhythm and tale. Mysticism, harmony, and wisdom at it's finest.
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Thanks for be pleased with my first humble intent.
Love,
Tom B.
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this was amazing!! and i cant wait for the end result. you pioeced this together so well. i thought i was spying on a coven meeting and the circle had already been cast. let the celebration begin !!!
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thanks for the compliment. I just wanted to get a feeling for the festival and the rite. Glad it touches home.
Love, Tom B.
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Tom, I think of sacrifice in the beginning lines of your poem, like those of Biblical days. We do have seeds to sow, harvests to reap, and winter days to reflect upon what life is.
The moon is about phases and seasons, beginnings and ending, but it changes color for the harvest time as it rises, and hangs low like a great pumpkin. When we see the bounty of nature, I often wonder how mankind got to this place of high-rise greed and devastation.
You say it with impact, there should be innate harmony between man and nature. It takes unity, reflection, and commitmant to truth, honesty. I find a certain Irony in that political argenda rides on the downward spiral of the colors and cracklings of fall.
A very thought provoking piece of work, Tom. 
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As far as the politics, both fall and spring raise a lot of dust and require alot of sweeping. We don't elect them in spring for we could not handle how our hopes are dashed. Better to bare in the cold and dispair of winter all the pomp and circumstance of persons and offices so high and mighty -- full of men who hope to be more.
i am glad you like my survey. Yes, I think the flame is the energy along with the red of maples and the gold of oaks. I need a bird besides the raven to hold the soaring hopes and I still am not sure how I will portray the spirts close beside us on this Samhain time.
Thanks for stopping by my friend
Yours in the Light,
Tom B.
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It is not a subject I am familiar with so may have to go do a bit of research myself, but as always you are building this into what I know will be a glorious bloom. C
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i heard parts this while I was doing my reading.My head needs a sense of how all the information fits, I guess. I always think these rights are like papers for english or social studies class in poetic form.
Love, Tom B.
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