sharp breaths puncture
stagnant skies,
and knives in December
gut my frozen heart.
desperation cries
for steel kisses,
which soothe eroded flesh
with jagged feathers for tongues.
she sings softly to my soul,
sweet silver song mimicking
the melodies of pain
as she caresses my skin.
quivering flesh pregnant with shame,
self-inflicted caesarean section
gives birth to twin sorrows;
scarlet tears borne of loathing.
[neglectful mother that I am]
suffering’s claws scratch at innards
devoured long ago by fear,
and still, I suckle the spawn of suicide
upon my rotted bosom.
Author notes
Option 2: Dark
I'd been working on this poem for a couple days, and was waiting for the perfect contest when I found this one. Enjoy my evil thoughts!
"musiclife"
The picture came from this site:
http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a137/tephies/Gothic/a68.jpg
In a list
A contest entry
- push my buttons by the chase.
900 points, ended November 19, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Good-bye Contest I'm Leaving AP (just added points) by BeautifullyBroken42.
576 points, ended January 12, 29 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me more! by ASmileForYou.
700 points, ended January 7, 69 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
Hood-Wink #103
You write so well from the perspective of someone such as myself, love
-
Wow, this poem is stunning. The imagery is great and the wording is perfect. I greatly enjoyed reading this poem. Thank you for entering!
-
The similes here are full of life and vivid imagery. How beautifully sad.
-
The similes here are full of life and vivid imagery. How beautifully sad.
-
"I suckle the spawn of suicide
upon my rotted bosom." very dark! great write...and great imagery portrayed throughout this piece
-
Darkness shines
Much talent flows here in this write, evil desires to rattle weak hearts, cries of pain one dread near. Great write so full of the right emotions to inspire, right up my alley kind of stuff, imagery of darkness done well. Take care and keep on writing the darkness.
-
"quivering flesh pregnant with shame,
self-inflicted caesarean section
gives birth to twin sorrows;
scarlet tears borne of loathing."
that bit is just wow. the whole poem is good, but that stanza just blew me away.
and the [neglectful mother] bit.
awesome work, cuz!!!
-
i think i really like it. i'm still iffy on it. but so far i like it. thank you for entering and good luck.
~amanda. -
I am so glad I didn't eat breakfast this morning!
I always click on your poems with dread and fear...
in Mountain High Anticipation of your dark glorious
simile's and metaphors.....astounding my eyes!
that was so kewl...I couldn't believe it ...and celebrated
your extra bonus might...
when you put in parenthesis...
{neglectful mother that I am}
oh..my gawd..that added such a stark and haunting
layer!
loved it!
always grow when I read your writes!
ears/Seattle
High-Five YOU... bloodfest poetess!
-
Your thoughts are no evil I think that you are full of talent I love the third stanza good job kiddo take care of yourself and have a great week
-
this is quite stark and brutal.
ps. i love that song
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
