we were born victims-
caution tape wrapped around
wailing lungs, pushing
splinters of glass into our chests.
the wrinkles never left,
only stretched across skin
too pale to be healthy
and too thin to conceal
the blueness of our veins.
I would have swallowed your pain
like bitter medicine, and sealed
you away in my pockets, but
they were full of polaroid memories
taped over bruised eyes
and aching hymen.
we pay in tears, the ducts ravaged
like bodies when sleep
was supposed to have crept
into our irises; the pools are huge,
purged from years of fractured hips
and the residue of skin
under flaky fingernails.
once, you painted me a picture
of watercolor tears from the eyes of god,
told me he was apologizing to us
for making it rain acid on our birthdays
& we burned it in the kitchen sink.
that was the day we stopped believing in hope
I'm paying in tears again,
clutching the sawed out pieces
of where we used to hide
behind play houses and carve
messages with wax crayons
which melted in the heat
that stopped your heart.
your ashes wilted in an urn
that smelled like test anxiety in June,
& spilled onto gravesites
where we would press our ears,
still shaking the naivete from our eyes
like sleep dust, and listen to the coffins below.
that was the day I stopped believing in God.
Author notes
this is about the relationship my best friend and i had before she died. we cremated her.
i hate the way this still makes me feel.
everything in it is too true.
and maybe i should have asked for some of her ashes
before they scattered them like leaves.
this took a lot out of me, please be nice.
65/100
x--Atelophobia--x
In a list
A contest entry
- something to believe in. by aanika.
1000 points, ended November 26, 2008, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - loosing a loved one by karas.
400 points, ended November 25, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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i loved it so much, truly beautiful, and im srry wat happened to you. beautiful write.
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Too beautiful for words to express. I loved it.
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wow this is amazing. I cant even say anything else about it. Its just amazing. I'm sorry for your loss.
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Ohmygoodness, this was soo beautiful. The vivid imagery & metaphors brought out the intense and painful emotions in this piece. I love the repetition of "paying in tears" throughout the poem.
*I'm paying in tears again,
clutching the sawed out pieces
of where we used to hide
behind play houses and carve
messages with wax crayons
which melted in the heat
that stopped your heart*Those lines really jumped out at me. Your description of your best memories with your friend brought tears to my eyes. I am not surprised that you won gold -- this is without a doubt an amazing write and a wonderful tribute to your friend<3
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Thank you so much for your beautiful comment.
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oh
my
god.
I would have swallowed your pain
like bitter medicine, and sealed
you away in my pockets, but
they were full of polaroid memories
taped over bruised eyes
and aching hymen.
I can't even describe the way this poem makes me feel.
I love how it's so different from all of those cheesy 'love' poems that people write.
I love how it's done.
I love your imagery.
I love that this took something out of you.
that was the point of this contest.
you are beautiful.
thank you so much. <3 -
Wow. This is... impressive... both personally and stylistically. The details make *me* a complete stranger, emotional and speechless... I can see how much it must mean to you and the kind of resources writing this must have required. I love this, though it's so sad... Very touching. thank you for sharing.
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very sad and very well done
i trruly enjoyed reading this
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thank you.
♣ Tegan
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