When I return home after workin'
And there's no dinner waitin' on me
I flip and I spit, throw myself a fit
Until I get served like the King that I be.
I'll eat my dinner like I'm a cow
And yer goin' to clean it up.
I refuse to clean my own dishes,
Instead I'll go turn on the tv
And plop right down on the couch.
When the house looks like a pile of mess,
My clothes and things on the floor
You ask me to help put all of my stuff away
I'd rather go to the garage
To fiddle with my tools,
Do other manly things
Just to steer clear of you.
I like my sports games and shows
They keep my attention
Unlike yer tearjerkin' soaps.
I'll open a beer
Rest my feet over here
Grab hold of the remote control
Flip through every channel
At least once or twice
'Cause as a man, that's just how I roll.
I hear you moanin and cryin' away
Poutin' 'bout the man that I am.
No need for the tears, that just how we are
And all you women are the same
Complainin', whinin', and grievin' day after day.
It gets on our nerves, bores us to tears
Makes us want to run like the wind for the hills
And honey, that's not all
I never get lost,
Yes, I know everything
I can tell you all that is right
So give it up baby, you just cannot win
Stop tryin' to start up a fight
Hey babe, don't just stand there starin'
Come pull one of my fingers
You know that you want to, and I think that it's so cool
Especially when it lingers.
There's only one time that I fear bein' 'round you
And it's the 'red week' in each month
I've made my own hideout
That you haven't found yet
But I know that you will one day.
It's the one time you win
I'm too scared to try you
You'll always get your way.
Author notes
Ha ha. Fun. I first came across the men's contest....and then was directed to this one. I figured I'd give it a go. I used the 'base' of the song as my poem format. Hopefully, that's ok. I enjoyed this, it was fun. I even let my fiance read it, and he liked it. Thanks for any and all comments.
A contest entry
- Battle of the Sexes ~ Ladies First! by Xianaria.
700 points, ended December 15, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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lol umm sounds like my ex !
very well done!
Thanks for entering,
~Lisa~
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LOL ~ nicely done! Thank you for your entry!
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He sounds like a winner NOT =) nice write.
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Great write, stark-naked truth (in most cases), enjoyable read.
Vito
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Wow,
What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man, yes he is. LOL.
You know that song, I hope.
Anywhos, you did a great job on this, though I'm quite the opposite myself. Thanks for sharing, much love and all the best with you and yours. It's been great reading you once again my friend. 
-Timothy
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Well this is a man that would be sleeping in the garage with his tools lol I think you did a good job here good luck in the contest be well
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Great humorous right, I really enjoyed reading this. Good luck in the contest, I hope you do well! My favorite stanza was:
"
I like my sports games and shows
They keep my attention
Unlike yer tearjerkin' soaps.
I'll open a beer
Rest my feet over here
Grab hold of the remote control
Flip through every channel
At least once or twice
'Cause as a man, that's just how I roll."
But they were all great. Thanks for sharing this fun write! -
LOL! I love your sense of humor in this.
You did a great job putting this piece
together here. Well done and good luck
to you with it in this contest. Thanks a lot
for sharing it here!
Jeremy0826 -
Ha. Very true, I have to say. You speak for us all. I'd like to read this to a man friend and check their reaction lol..
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Haha
I think I date that man...
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LOL!! I'm engaged to that man! Except he doesn't throw a fit...
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