I'm treading water
in a boiling sea of mercury
grasping for hornets wings
disguised as lily pads of false salvation.
High tide washes me upon the craggy shore
where i crawl forth
as primordial ooze
that gets trapped in your treads,
carried onto barren land,
and scraped off
before entering thy domain.
Author notes
llamas own as per asinine mandate
craggy shores = marriage, domestication, love
1st stanza = free life, wild crazy adventures .. lone wolf still needs a mate
2nd stanza = how dull and downtrodden domestication can become
I think there is a 3rd stanza yet to come dealing with the strange beasts of blissful union and how it evolves
A contest entry
- Obscure beards and other hairy wonders by acari27.
500 points, ended October 27, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Alright lemme have it - the good, the bad, the ugly.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I really liked your word choice here.
This was a good piece, but I to think that a 3rd stanza would be a good idea as well. Thank you for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
Vampy -
oo yes but i really liked
gets trapped in your treads,
carried onto barren land,
and scraped off
before entering thy domain.
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Good write, hoss, though I agree that a third stanza would complement the piece
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So far so good, if you add that 3rd stanza tell me, i like this poem but i do think that would add on to it, keep it flowing
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i think a third stanza might
be a good idea here...just because
i would like to see what happens
after the woes of domestic boredom
love, lane
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