Farm at dawn...
His eyes opened to sunrise, late already;
bare hips lifted from sheets
bare feet to streamed floor boards ;
there to the rumpled jeans, stale socks, buttonless shirt...
they searched eagerly for a second boot...instead
found an angel on the pillow, still smiling....
Dawn letter...
Her eyes glassy and dripping
like the old faucet,
and the clink on the tin bucket
a hard rain last night.
On unused kitchen table a note,
an empty chair, clean plate and cup.
The note said he would never come back ...again.
Muttered to no one in particular,
"I had no idea he loved me ...so"
A New Day...
Dawn rose like a snake of light,
filling odd corners of clouds;
beneath wood smoke aromas and mists
Harlem streetlights flickered to “off”
there over smiling black and brown faces,
winding, winding down Lennox Avenue
clear to the subways and far, far beyond
on election day, November 4, 2008.
Forever and a Day...
Blackboard space,
light stabbed across the endless horizon,
and your starry voice makes a slow growl;
like the strings of a fine violin
that warm to rise and quiver, endlessly
Last Day...
his mind began to grow numb just as his fading body,
he mercifully slept and in the last dream,
he realized,
it was the evil in his soul that made him chase perfection...
and all the while
with every choice,
deny the simple seat of happiness....
In a list
A contest entry
- moments of vanishing beauty__ A vignette contest by Cat.
4000 points, ended November 17, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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boy do i love that first stanza- it is so refreshingly different- creative and inspired
i can relate to the entire piece in different ways- especially the election day new dawn... i love
"dawn rose like a snake of light"
a strong piece -
i feel like after the contest directives do not control how this piece should be presented you might consider
ending at forever and day
and let the word endlessly finish the poem.. just a thought.. it is quite strong
thanks so much for the wonderful entry here..
m
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Thank you Mary-
for your words and thoughts here... I think this is a really good idea... PK
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Farm at dawn...
His eyes opened to sunrise, late already;
bare hips lifted from sheets
bare feet to streamed floor boards ;
there to the rumpled jeans, stale socks, buttonless shirt...
they searched eagerly for a second boot...instead
found an angel on the pillow, still smiling....
(((you made me feel a working man. I am reminded of many memories from my farm though only the stale socks *smile*. anyway, i really liked this image and of the angel smiling... it gave me that a mans a mans feeling)))
Dawn letter...
Her eyes glassy and dripping
like the old faucet,
and the clink on the tin bucket
a hard rain last night.
On unused kitchen table a note,
an empty chair, clean plate and cup.
The note said he would never come back ...again.
Muttered to no one in particular,
"I had no idea he loved me ...so"
((( the way you described her and personified the kitchen faucet was beautiful. I was taken to a place where the hard rain was not outside- but in.)))
A New Day...
Dawn rose like a snake of light,
filling odd corners of clouds;
beneath wood smoke aromas and mists
Harlem streetlights flickered to “off”
there over smiling black and brown faces,
winding, winding down Lennox Avenue
clear to the subways and far, far beyond
on election day, November 4, 2008.
(((snake of light was interesting... that being charmed and wondering if one is going to be pulled over on me feel... odd corners of clouds-- liked this feeling of being some place we havent been in a while...)))
Forever and a Day...
Blackboard space,
light stabbed across the endless horizon,
and your starry voice makes a slow growl;
like the strings of a fine violin
that warm to rise and quiver, endlessly
(((oh how time cannot pass fast enough sometimes was where i went... and yet everything is happening so fast but not. i loved the feel and personification now of music)))
Last Day...
his mind began to grow numb just as his fading body,
he mercifully slept and in the last dream,
he realized,
it was the evil in his soul that made him chase perfection...
and all the while
with every choice,
deny the simple seat of happiness....
(((interesting where this took me within myself. we have all chased evil in our selves one time or another- i think everyone has.. but it is about who rises above it.)))
thank you for this strong entry
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I can see each vignette clearly. Powerful descriptions. Love "A New Day".
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Sad
An excellent write. Very descriptive and an interesting write. Perfect entry.
Jim
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I'm with Blue...
I feel deeply moved by this one. Excellent hon.
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Just a mesmerizing display of your talent.
I loved every piece of this and the propelling
force of "searching". IT is what we spend most
of our lives doing. The imagery moves this
piece into the extraordinary. Blue
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there is a lot to be said for happyness...
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The best should not be the enemy of the good. Nicely done PK.
Paul
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This is excellent. Really strong, while the bits work well alone, together the picture is so clear.
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