nature kneels before an
inharmonious humanity
with trembling hand
I sketch the wrath of god
then load my paintbrush
both sides
burnt sienna and yellow ochre
make the perfect match
burn mother fuckers
burn
new life forms fill
the blackened canvas
I sketch the wrath of god
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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That title is very Meg-esque...kinda.
'inharmonious' Holy heck, that's so many syllables!! I think you made it work, though.
"with trembling hand"
I actually like the lack of an article (if that's the right word)...without an 'a', it's quite...powerful.
"i sketch the wrath of god"
InCREDIBLY good line, love 'wrath' and of course, reference to 'god'.
'ochre' Oh wow, I just said I wanted to use this word more often today!! I've only used it once...
'mother fuckers'<==separated intentionally, right? LoL...for more impact, I assume.
Last 2 lines=good ending
Jessica
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Good piece...I like the entire write, but I think the first stanza is great
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chuckles...I'd let you bit my neck lol but I know you'd be too shy to do it!
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i wish i could paint
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i wish i could bite peoples necks
and inherit eternal life
but we can't have it all now can we? -
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you can't just go around biting peoples necks without getting done
unless you're ozzy osbourne
but even he got rare done for eating a bat
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