It's so beautiful out here tonight,
As the stars shine so bright
The lake shimmers from the sparkling sun,
Then I had realized where it had all begun
The frog's croak ,
And the owl's whhoo
But my favorite part is when
it seem's as if they're singing to you.
Now tonight it seem's to be untrue,
For the closer you get to me,
The more I come to love you.
A contest entry
- The Feelings you get by ChaingangAngel.
400 points, ended November 29, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Finish Strong by TabbyCat.
700 points, ended November 20, 2008, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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aww
this poem was kinda short and not as descriptive as I would of liked but it was good -
There is so much about this one that I like...but the first stanza and the second stanza seem to contradict eachother...you say the stars are shining, then the sun is shining. I'm confused!
But, there were several lines that were some of the best I've read from you so far.
"The frogs croak,
and the owls "whooo,"
But my favorite part is when
it seems as if they 're singing to you."
How romantic! (but notice "there" should be changed to "they're.")
Then, the last two lines really packed a punch, which is great. I think one of the most important parts of a poem is the final impression it leaves with the reader.
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nope the lake shimmers not shines it shimmers off the lake
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WOW!!! This is so sweet and romantic. . .
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wow. so good! nice write!
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very good. but once again, your grammar is distracting from the effect of the piece. the emotoin in this is amazing. i like it.
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This is excellent. Please read my poem and review it also!
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