She was pierced on that night
by the shards of his words
Unexpected, they ravaged
Like some ravenous birds
Past her breasts through her heart
They'd no mercy to show
So few words had he whispered
Such great pain they'd bestowed.
Should the battle rage on
In naivety's thoughts
It'll leave her heart helpless
To the war being fought
Had he only confessed,
never showing remorse
She might then have felt free
To use anger and force!
But alas there she stares,
Only loving this weapon
For an honesty said
For a humble confession.
Maybe there lies the reason
As she sleeps in her tears
Why she failed to feel anger
Loving still with no fear.
Author notes
It's hard to grasp it when you find out that little fact.
That one moment between two people, can turn life around for them and their partners... it's a little sad.
A contest entry
- Sadness and Despair by PoetryStar2.
400 points, ended November 13, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your favorite by whispernthedark.
790 points, ended November 7, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - {This is} What HURTS the MOST ;; by Candy Morphine.
700 points, ended November 17, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To say goodbye by BleedingBlackTears.
600 points, ended December 3, 2008, 80 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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its true.its how i feel. its where i am. 1
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Reasons
My guess that when young we expect to much from a relationship but when we get older one partner usually gives very little. Funny life poet.
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IT's extremely sad, this is a great write. Thank you so much for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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this is a very good poem with lots of thought and honesty very thourough and deepi cant quite bar with this feeling but good luck too you and have a good day
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Describes disillusionment well
This poem conjures an image of one confused by the way such pain can be generated from so few words. There is some good imagery here, delving into the physical reseprentations of some complex emotions. The rhythmn and rhyme complement the poem without dominating it. I would, however, politely point out
that "naivety" is spelt this way.
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Hehehe oh no! ^^;
Thanks for pointing that out, I had an image of it in my mind but alas... that's where it stayed.
I'm glad the poem was relatively successful in getting across the right atmosphere and emotions
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