guess ill git up, stretch, grunt and scratch some stuff *sex*
then stomp into the livingroom, try to act real tough
put ma feet up on the table, fart and fix my shorts
it's the weekend and that means *sex* watching sports
im gonna sit here *sex* all day and watch cars and football
and when I need something, *sex* my lady I will call
there's that itch again, I sware ill scratch it til I bleed
I should shower everyday but there's really no need *sex*
*sex* I wish that the remote control wasn't so far away
"hey honey *sex* can you git that?" I always git my way
the kitchen smells real good, "honey *sex* where's mah sammich?"
"hurry up woman' I say, "my gut is low, I'm famished?"
oh sure i pick up heavy stuff, open things and such
but making me express feelings? that's really just too much *sex*
my brain is genetically wired *sex* to block my feminine side
besides the beating i would git if the guys found out I cried
you'll never hear me say the words so often that I hear
"do these jeans make me look fat?", *sex* or "how can you like beer?"
when I say "everything's fine" don't try to peel my brain *sex*
i'm pretty much a simple soul, *sex* my needs are pretty sane
i know you wish you had a willie when you watch mine grow *sex*
the envy was in your eyes when i wrote your name in snow
just deal with it, I've got a pair too and they're strong
and don't kid with those scissors, honey, that's just wrong
well thats it, the games almost on *sex* so im ending this poem now
mah boyz are coming over with more beer and some dead cow
i know it might seem basic *sex* and the words are kinda stale *sex*
but *sex* that's just the way it oughta be *sex* when you''re a male
Author notes
Thanxu Xianaria that was a really fun one to write 
my special thanx to my collaborator and best friend Jessie who reminded me that a guy thinks about sex every 7 seconds 
and no offense to the guys out there most of you are kewl 
A contest entry
- Battle of the Sexes ~ Ladies First! by Xianaria.
700 points, ended December 15, 2008, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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So true ... loved it!
Thanks for entering,
~Lisa~
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LOL ~ quite an enjoyable write *sex* however, I don't think *sex* about sex every 7 *sex*ons
Nicely done, thanks for entering!
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7 seconds 6 seconds whats the difference
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hahaha.. touche!
and the 7 second thing isn't true, I bet you women have sex on your mind more than guys do. maybe not consciously, but somewhere in there it's always floating around, otherwise why do you care so much about looking good for us guys all the time
now go make me a sammich!
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what kind of sammich?
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a ham sammich with lotsa mustard!
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ima vegetarian i do NOT serve dead animal flesh. how bout a nice peanut butter an strawberry jelly on toasted whole wheat or a veggie pita with zucchini and carrots and lettuce? Mmmmmmmm ok now im hungry
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what the heck is a veggie pita? whatever it is sounds gross
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OMG youre not one of those people who gets sick eating healthy food are you? OMG (._.) its awesome! ill put radicchio and other stuff in it too, it'll be a mystery pita and you'll love it. you can pretend its ham
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"healthy" foods huh meat with fat is the healthiest food there is.
but yeah I seriously have no clue what a veggie pita is. I'm guessing it's a grain of some sort.. if you really want to be healthy check out "keto" diets.
edit: lets continue this in messages, haha we can literally talk for hours on end I don't wanna clutter up your page.
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im already pretty ketogenic and bread to me is like garlic for vampyres im all about it
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You seemed to have pretty much summed up the way guys would act if they could get away with it! It's probably a good thing most women won't put up with this except maybe on their guys' birthdays.
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thank God guys have us
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Rotflmao oh goodness haha this is funny I love it I think that you did a great job good luck in the contest be well
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