I fear she is death
a naked lullaby
glistening in mood
Draped in cotton satire
I'm shamed by her stares
and forgiven once more
in the moment
How can I leave
when regret settles
on a once simple earth
flat land that choked
in the throat of trust
She blooms judgment
not in such a way
as I have known
but in still beats
A vibration of sheet metal
thumped by raindrops
sprinkling rust from underneath
unto the dirt
in which I was created
Author notes
I was once forgiven for cheating on my girlfriend, but somehow, I felt she was making me suffer.
A contest entry
- Sadness and Despair by PoetryStar2.
400 points, ended November 13, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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killer opener
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good
before i read your 'author notes', i done and knew you had done something bad. but yeah, you just have to learn from your mistakes, and go on!!! that is the best you can hope for. man, wouldn't it really blow, to think you had to go through all of that stuff, and not learn a thing? that means you have to go through it all again. i personally think, a person has to keep going through it all untill they get it right. (thats just me, of course!) hope you learned something Boy. but you know i love you anyway... ha/ha love ma
p.s. forgivness starts with yourself. i don't mean making an excuse for what you have done. i mean if you are really sorry, then that is where you start. because, if you are really sorry, YOU WON'T DO IT AGAIN!!! love you, ma
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hey ma!!! how ru? thanx for reading. where u been
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like the opening lines especially
good luck in the contest
please return the favour
love always
erica carnea
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Love your opening lines.
"I fear she is death
a naked lullaby"
Great write...well done!!!
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A metaphoric wonderland... very fine!
Wonderfully said, fine Poet Sir.
Aye, she was still making you suffer, you can bet on that.
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I enjoyed the poem very much. Very vivid in the description and the fact that it wasn't just blattenly spoken. Shows true talent. Keep writing
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definatly in the top list
one i think this is very good but could use some work. very descriptive and i can almost feel as if i am there in the same position you were in
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