strange,
how I can wake up
in my underwear;
sprawled across my father's couch in the basement,
week old nail polish chipped almost completely off,
yesterday's makeup collected under my eyes like [rainwater in the streets]
and my first thoughts are not
of "what am I doing here",
or in fact of "where am I",
not even "I hope mom's flight gets in okay,"
....no,
strange
that my first thoughts, darling,
are of you.
Author notes
True story, this morning
title from "If It Kills Me" by Jason Mraz
A contest entry
- Any kind of love by Dorian-Gray.
400 points, ended January 11, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I hope criticism (that good old "constructive" kind) is forthcoming
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Thanks for entering. I can relate to that feeling of 'nothing else matters' when you love someone. Its a nice write.
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This is great
I loved it
It flowed really nicely
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Wow this was amazing. It ended so different than I expected it to.
Wonderful write.
P.S. Love Jason Mraz. -
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how did you think it would end, just out of curiosity?
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I didn't think it would be about a lover. I thought it would be more family oriented.
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Very creepish, but good...i suppose...
I dunno, I haven't really been myself recently. Writing depressing shit and otherwise.
I love the imagery like always.
Keep up the good work.
<3Nate
PS, You should write a fucking book hun.
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thank you darling..
creepish? -
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Definition
Creepish:
In a creepy manner.
<3Nate -
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creepish how? I dun get it.
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lovely.
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yesterday's makeup collected under my eyes like [rainwater in the streets]..I thought this verse stood out more than the others...giving a sense of observation. Sweet and cuddly...way to go love
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liked the poem hun it was deep and believe that i know what your going through right now
much love
suicidal love death
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