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We were like orphans, we belonged to no one and owned nothing. I was your little black cloud and you were my diamonds in a rough, You were barren and I was desolate and together we were abandoned.
.
We lived in anesthetic with leeky pipes and grinning moons, breezes that smelled like summer and lemon drops that stung your eyes.
My heart had been cremated long before yours had been shot down. I was like a child reaching for the sun with no fingers to grasp it with.
.
Author notes
flutterby--x
this was excellent contest, I hope i used the inspiration given well, My prompt was Peaches.
much love doll. xx
_________________
for stephies contest, hope you like it babe 
In a list
A contest entry
- Favorites by She Stole My Voice.
400 points, ended November 28, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - emotion illness rounds - AUDITIONS by stasis.
700 points, ended February 7, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the catharsis rounds; auditions. by aanika.
1800 points, ended February 10, 43 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - infinite spaces between atoms by whiterabbit..
500 points, ended April 15, 26 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 30 prewrites!! make it a good one :) by etoile.
800 points, ended April 13, 26 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can you reach my expectations? by Ti Amo Te Quiero.
750 points, ended May 17, 65 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prose ONLY. by samantha jean.
750 points, ended April 28, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything And Everything by Magik Milk Glass.
400 points, ended April 28, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the static rounds: audition. show me what you've got. by decode.
1070 points, ended June 21, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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yes.
I see potential in this. -
yes
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yes
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very much a yes.
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oh, yes.
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Wow! Stunning. Your imagery is just beautiful. I really love this a lot, though i find it to be a little short. Maybe you could include another few lines more? Well, anyways, thanks for entering my contest and good luck
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Wow, truly lovely imagery! Looks like you have the trophies to prove it
Blue~
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I love this, I already commented so you should know haha.
this is brilliant, every single image is stunning. I love this.
goodluck and thanks for entering -
"My heart had been cremated long before yours had been shot down. I was like a child reaching for the sun with no fingers to grasp it with. "
wow.
that part hit hard.
I like your style. very straightforward.
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"My heart had been cremated long before yours had been shot down. I was like a child reaching for the sun with no fingers to grasp it with. "
that's amazing.
only one thing, really: spelling - it's not leeky, it's leaky.
but really - i was reading through the finalists for the infinite spaces between atoms contest, and this is my favorite for sure. good luck. -
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Thank you so much!
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i really like it.
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"My heart had been cremated long before yours had been shot down. I was like a child reaching for the sun with no fingers to grasp it with." - Amazing ending stanza.
Love the title too.
Brilliant write.
So filled with imagery. -
I see why this took GOLD!This is beyond book worthy!~This belongs in a poet's Hall of Fame~(*Somewhere...)**********************I'm so glad I had run across your poetry.***********************This is so inspirational Sophie!******************** -
I love it bbydoll. You have such a talent for writing. The imagery is amazing. I don't know what else to say. It's perfect && beautiful.
xx -
Stuning Imagery
I love the uniqueness of your poem. Very heartfelt and it draws the reader into the writer's emotions. Great!!!!! Take care, Sandy
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Intriguing
It felt like an intimate look
into sadness and melancholy
from the perspective of two
close friends in distress.
Nice writing
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wow this is amazing.
every word was beautiful and filled with imagery.
i wish it was longer.. i never wanted to stop reading it.
i love the opening stanza.. it's brilliant.
'I was like a child reaching for the sun with no fingers to grasp it with. '
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i love this. it really ended this piece with a bam. if you know what i mean haha.
congrats on the trophies <3
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This is absolutely beautiful. I was listening to this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kISlpoSc1oE while i was reading it and it just fit so well. The imagery is so pretty! Well done!
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"We were like orphans, we belonged to no one and owned nothing. You were barren and I was desolate and together we were abandoned."
Beautiful beautiful work. It almost describes the way i feel, almost...We're all lost, but yet we know where we are. BTW congrats on the trophies.
Amazing job! -
This is amazing. I loved the imagery you penned and the emotion it conjured up - simply breathtaking.
Great work and congrats on the gold trophy -
yes.
leeky --> leaky
that's all I have to say.
thanks for entering. -
yes.
Please wait for the other judges comment. -
yes
"We lived in anesthetic with leeky pipes and grinning moons, breezes that smelled like summer and lemon drops that stung your eyes."
That is so incredibly gorgeous to me. I love this, I really do.
Please wait for the other judge to comment.
♣ Tegan -
This is my personal comment for the catharsis rounds.
Upon the closing of the contest, I will comment back with a 'yes' or 'no.'
That being said, this was really beautiful.
There wasn't much emotion, I felt, which is what this contest asks for...
Overall, there was beautiful imagery and I loved the concept.
I'll be back. -
Leeky pipes? I rather suspect the leeks would plug the leaks
Good job on the gold!
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" was like a child reaching for the sun with no fingers to grasp it with" loved that image.
gold-worthy, for sure.
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Wow. Wow.
That was absolutely incredible. That last line was especially powerful and impacting. Wow. Congratulations on the much deserved gold trophy.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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This is more like it, I think. It is solid throughout and conveys powerful emotion and messages through really creative imagery and phrasing...
In my opinion, this is how one puts power behind there words...
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sophie this is orgasmic! =]
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i liked that lots
cuteeeeee. -
last stanza was gripping and brilliant
a great way to leave your reader wanting more
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Holycow.
This is definitely my favorite entry so far.
Do you mind if I print this out and put it on my door?
:]
You are amazing.
♥
ily.
-Mary -
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Of course you can print it! Thank you so much for enjoying. x
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oh, I love it!
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stunning, Sophie
absolutely stunning.
your last line was powerful.
good luck, sweetie
you're amazing
<333
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