Fragmented illusions
are now my shadows whilst I’m chasing dreams
of withered roses and
burnt out candles.
The sun goes down once again,
Forming darkness all around me
But you were my light that never faded.
I long for my memories of you that kept me alive,
Hoping they will give us a chance to be reborn
But the only thing that you’re doing;
is killing me.
Whispered voices
tell me to give up,
I believe you’re worth fighting for
Please don’t let me be wrong.
Author notes
xDemonicxAngelx
Prompt: Missing what we had.
This is very personal to me.
A contest entry
- quickie 10/1 by Blooming Poet.
400 points, ended November 8, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prompt Potpourri Preliminary - Rounds Contest. Auditions. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
400 points, ended December 29, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything by Stormy Days.
1750 points, ended February 1, 87 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the catharsis rounds; auditions. by aanika.
1800 points, ended February 10, 43 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "celebrate, celebrate, dance to the music!" round 1 of 4 by iamthebeatles.
650 points, ended February 5, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITE... maybe rounds I'll see what i get!!! by Unbreakable3.
900 points, ended July 30, 223 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 49 of 49
-
This is very mice and elegant. I liek the wordingyou used within this! Good pened, thank you for netering and best of luck in the future!
-
angela and I have discussed this poem, and we're afraid that our final answer is 'no.'
thanks for entering though
-
no.
however, Angela said yes to you, so she and I will discuss this and get back to you.
thanks for entering. -
yes.
work on your originality, and please give us MORE in the following rounds, if you're accepted.
Please wait for the other judges comment. -
it sounds like it could be one of those poems that could be person with a lot of other people because so many can connect with this. Great write with great emotion.
cassie
-
I liked the emotion in this.
however, I would have liked it to be longer.
also, a LOT of it was very cliche and not very original.
maybe work on your imagery a bit
thanks for entering. -
This is my personal comment for the catharsis rounds.
Upon the closing of the contest, I will comment back with a 'yes' or 'no.'
That being said, I really liked this.
My only critiques would be that I felt that this could've been longer, added more.
That's just my personal opinion though.
Also, I get the feeling I've read pieces much like this, before. So the originality wasn't at it's full potential.
Though the emotion in this is very good.
I could feel how personal it is to you, and that's what we're looking for.
I'll be back.
-
I really like the poem it has a good word choice and i like how it just flows, the ending is great
~GOOD LUCK~
*Dark Poet* -
I absolutely LOVE this. A great take on the prompt. Great word choice. One of my favorites by you
Well done and congratulations on the Silver trophy. You deserved it
Much love
Ylova
-
Believe in me, cause i was made for chasing dreams.
Reminds me of this haha, gutted.
<3
xxxxx -
-
What the hell is that?
=/
xxx
<3 -
-
Staind - believe
you aint heard it i dont think but i loves off of it
x -
-
Nah I ain't heard it.
Did you hear their version of nothing else matters?
The music ain't that great but his voice is gorgeous!
xxx
<3
-
-
-
-
I find this very difficult to read - I did specifically ask for poems to be made legible - black typing on a plain white or pale pastel ground. However, as far as I can see, You seem to have misread the rules of my "Celebrating poetry and poets" competition. For as far as I can see, this piece does not refer specifically to either. I wish you luck with it elsewhere - but for this particular competition, it has to rank as a "non-starter".
-
PAH this didnt deserve a trophy!
i kid i kid
you know i love it <3
xxxxx -
-
WHAT!
I'm proud of it
So neeeer
Don't see you gettin' any trophies, so (H)
I know what it takes to be cool.
Haha
xxx
<3 -
-
'snot my fault i cant write
-
-
-
wow, powerful.
-
This is a very sad poem..... but very true in life for some.
I hope it works out between you two. =) -
I like it. It's short, but sad at the same time. Very awesomely beautifully written.
-
Lovely poem; I like the last-dying-rays-before-the-night feel to it and you used some pretty kick ass descriptions.
Ok though woman spill. Whats up?
-
-
Thanks for the comment.
And it's just like, things aren't really going so well anymore.
That's all.
-
-
wow!! i really like this poem! thank you for comment ing mine it means alot i have been through alot that y i write poems! but wow you are a whole lot better then me i love this poem it's so good! you should put it in a contest!
-
amazingly gorgeous
originaly brillaint
SUPERB ! -
I think that most of the time,
personal poetry is easy to write
because they come right from
the center of your heart. It showes
your true feelings. This is a very
caring and loving piece of poetry.
Many can relate to your words.
I enjoyed your poem very much.
loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
-
-
Thank you
-
-
This is sad but with a feeling of hope. Longing for what use to be is always painful, You write beautifully. The title fits great and not at all what I expected the poem to be. Good luck to you in the contest!
Hugs!
Cayla
-
-
Thank you so much.
-
-
this is a really sad poem, too many times i have felt this way and the imagery makes it even easier for the reader to feel how you feel, the emotions were really strong and i love the imagery from the very start fantastic choice of wording good luck in the contest.
Best wishes Seraph
-
-
Thank you for your kind comment.
-
-
did you post this again or something?
-
-
yeah
I thought that it would be better for this contest.
But I dunno
:\
-
-
Nice poem..
I definitely enjoyed reading it, despite's it is being sad..
I like the imagery you have used and your emotions are very clear here.. well done and good job.
I hope your fighting does not go in vain, but if there is no hope.. well it seems you will have to give up and carry on with your life.
Keep on writing and good luck in the contest.
Nooni
-
-
Thank you very much for your comment.
-
-
woowww
this is soooooo incredibly touching.. you really deserve a bow for writing this...
your words made me go to the world of imagination,,,
really, i mean it. your talent is obvious
I like the part:
"The sun goes down once again,
Forming darkness all around me
But you were my light that never faded"
beautifully penned
lovely..
-
-
Thank you for your lovely comment.
-
-
shattap i wanted to give you more applause
i failed.
xxxxxxxxx -
i really like how you worded this....i can relate very well...
-
pew pew
what the hell
this site does hate me you knowpew pew
lazors
ill stop.
goodbye.
-
bahh
you write well good poetry
try to snatch it!
Whispered voices
tell me to give up,
I believe you’re worth fighting for
Please don’t let me be wrong.
i lurrrrrved that part its all
mystical...
goodjob you understand me because no one else will ^_^
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
-
-
Kirst you commented twice.
Awww
Nooby.
Ta for the comment.
xxx
<3
-
-
Beautiful poem! I really enjoyed reading this. I love the lines:
"Fragmented illusions
are now my shadows whilst I’m chasing dreams
of withered roses and
burnt out candles."
"But you were my light that never faded."
I love the emotions you presented in this piece. Very emotional. I've experienced these feelings before, and this piece is just so amazing! Wonderful job, good luck in the contest!
-
-
Thank you so much!
-
-
enjoyable
i enjoyed the reading of this poem, it is very visual and sends out strong images that i can see clearly as i have felt them in the same way i have written poetry such as this so i know that this came from the heart. brightest blessings...
-
Yes..the memories are the real face which comple us to move and chase the life's love..and this you have made here ..well a thoughtful longing..
-
As the owner of a dream
very much like your own, I know where you're coming from.
I said I'd never give up the dream. The days passed, then months, then years. Now it has been decades.
At some point, whether sooner or later, if left to wither the dream dies. For me the dream is dead. I only hope you have better luck than I had.
-
-
Thank you for your comment.
-
-
wow wow wow!
don't give up! this is such a powerful write, i love your optimism! you've expressed it all so perfectly in this, your words are just so emotionsl! keep penning, i'm loving this poem
-
-
Thank you
It means a lot to me.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 49 of 49
