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Honeydew Melon

the air smelled musk,
and my thoughts tiptoed

remembering the trembling
hand that searched its feel
halting somewhere
between yes and no;

his nose twitched,
mesmerised by the taste
of white and green
succulence;

aroused, I wiped the spittle
from my mind



Author notes

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Mairi bheag gold member
    November 9, 2008
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    That last image is a knockout!


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    October 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my, this is quite the "melon" I doubt I will think on honey-dew quite the same way again. I nearly felt my own slurp in this one.

    As Myra has stated, this is a rare visual from you, and a poem that incites the reader to look beyond the rind to find the more vulnerable self.

    Well done with this prompt. Thank you for sharing this with me. ~Pamela


  • myrataal silver member
    October 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    A very rare ...

    sensual poem by you ...

    Layered, challenging the reader to search for connotations ...

    Perhaps the exit line needs a subtle twist?

    Very good take on the prompt.

    Blessed be, Friend.

    Myra


  • Aesthete2000 gold member
    October 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Frans, this is terrific!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • Sandygram silver member
    October 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Lovely Write

    You have written a very pleasing poem to read. You do get the taste buds excited.
    Always a pleasure to be found when I stop by your page. I hope your weekend has been wonderful. Take care. Hugs and smiles my friend.

    Bless You and Yours,
    Sandy


  • ea silver member
    October 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow, a very sensuous take on the candle scent prompt and I see you matched the original challenge to not mention the title in your poem. Good job!

1 - 6 of 6