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i remember way too much

 

Grab my heart and hold onto it,
I would love for you to tell me its name.
Seek and find me and sing me my song,
I forgot how it goes.
[maybe I need a new one now]

Take my hand
and tell me that you'll be mine.
Let's run through the rain
and forget time.
[if that's okay with you]

No longer can I feel
the difference between
what is fake and what is real.
But when I think of the pros and cons
of being right or wrong,
I lose sight of where my wings are.
[can I still fly, my darling?]

Dropping musical hints
when I look into your topaz,
can you really say no?
Spilling crystals and
holding onto teddy bears,
I remember four score all too well.

[and no, I will never go home]

 

Author notes

Lowercase Prelude

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • Cyanide Dreams
    March 29

    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done. I like the raw, tender emotions you put into this and I liked the things in the "[ ]" those were unique. Great job on this and good luck in the contest.

    Josh


  • Kathraina silver member
    March 25

    Edit | Reply
    Aww this is so beautiful and tender!
    Swept me off my feet.
    Bravo!!!!


    ♥ Kate

  • JM Kenyon silver member
    December 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A very well written piece. I was surprised how well the brackets were used, I can't say I have ever liked seeing them in a poem until now. Yours serve a reflective purpose as few do.

    This brought to mind something I have felt myself, which may be why I like the poem so much. My impression of this write is the sense of personal loss that may be experienced in relationships. When individuals must seek the opinion of another and sacrifice complete individualism for... love, togetherness, companionship...

    A very enjoyable read.

    Best wishes always... ~Genie~


  • aanika
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Spilling crystals and
    holding onto teddy bears,
    I remember four score all too well.

    [and no, I will never go home]


    beautiful.
    plain and simple.
    thank you so much. <3

  • tangerine
    November 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Interesting

    Well written, needs some editing for repitition. But I think the addition of the last line at the end of each stanza is really great.


  • Sunkissed xo
    November 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a great piece the way you have written it is very interesting, and some of the imagery throughout is truly stunning - "spilling crystals and holding onto teddy bears." well done! thanks so much for entering the contest, best of luck in it!

    peace ♥


  • The Poetic Bandits gold member
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Bandit Appreciation!

    Thank you for this entry to the Bandit Reading List your particiption is appreciated!


    The Poetic Bandits


  • Sandra R Reynolds gold member
    November 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very sweet and full of love.


  • Polaja Greeters member
    November 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is stunning ... I love the feel of the words - beautiful in their sandness ... wistful longing ... this is a wonderful poem and I really enjoyed the read ... the parts in the brackets were my favorite parts they really added a new dimension to your words.

    Keep writing

    Polly


  • The Hermit
    October 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very honest and very romantic. A mixture of a suicide note and a love letter.


  • ronnica
    October 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It reads vert romantic, rather like a love letter,
    I liked the sentiments, the smooth flow. and especially "I lose sight of where my wings are,"


  • WolfHeart
    October 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice job and I wish you the best in the contest. Very poignant and bittersweet.


  • Kiss the girl--x
    October 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    'Dropping musical hints
    when I look into your topaz,
    can you really say no?
    Spilling crystals and
    holding onto teddy bears,
    I remember four score all too well.

    [and no, I will never go home]'

    I love that, those lines are amazing, and make a brilliant ending

    hope you're okie

    ♥


  • IrishGypsyRose silver member
    October 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Beautifully Penned

    I felt that this was written for me and my husband. Though I know that is not true, it was my feelings. So sweet and beautiful. I enjoyed this read immensely. ~Gypsy~


  • aanika
    October 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    screenname in author's notes please.
    will comment for real later.


  • LittleBee
    October 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    great write

    You express the emotion of this piece very well.


    • lowercase prelude gold member
      October 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      hey. thanks for the comment
      glad to see you back around AP
      haven't see you in awhile

1 - 21 of 21