10.25.08
i thought of you
as the lamplight reflected
off fading maple leaves.
holding on is hard
when the winds blow.
10.26.08
this isn't easy
watching snow fall.
it isn't easy
to let these feelings
freeze.
10.27.08
coffee shop conversation
dwells in my mind,
how you laugh
and tree boughs grow
across your face.
10.28.08
eyes like thunder
you hold my gaze,
raking up golden wishes
and throwing them back
to the storming sky.
10.29.08
i walk home alone...
again. past lighted stained
glass, the darkened houses,
and i am surprised when
i hit the filter.
10.30.08
the coffee cup stared
like one of your
deep eyes, waiting
for me to bring
you to my lips.
10.31.08
i took off your
dead grandpa’s pants
and felt a chill,
like a ghost
of lust.
11.01.08
i am the piano
that you don’t own
but ache to touch
whenever you pass by.
Author notes
constructive critiques are encouraged.
peace to all ~flight
A contest entry
- snippets of you by piggyback.
6000 points, ended November 17, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
honesty
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I like the internal rhymes and alliterations you used in the first couple snippets. I must say I enjoyed the first half more than the second. Very nice job overall, anyway - the imagery is understandable enough, but personal and well-written. Thanks for your entry.
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whoaaa
last one really really good.
...not a critique, sorry.
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there will be more
peace to all ~flight
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Your first snip is breathtaking, it makes me remember my grandfather - and it makes me miss him even more than I already do.
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i'm missing someone too, oh life...
thanks for the comment mellissa
peace to all ~flight
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Holding on is hard
when the winds blow...
Simply the truth. Beautifully reflective.
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thank you...
peace to all ~flight
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