whenever you open your mouth and prepare to speak, piano keys overcome your voice. they're violent and ugly and none of the things a piano should be. you look like a girl, fragile and pretty, but when you wake up
you hate the morning and swallow blocks of air with gray teeth. a graceless thing composed of involuntary, awkward movements that clog up your throat and choke you at certain times throughout the day. I only see your face underwater and we will not eat together; I will not be hungry when you're around.
Author notes
wish you weren't so disgusting
A contest entry
- keep it close by the atlantic.
1750 points, ended November 10, 2008, 19 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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sometimes I am this girl.
:/
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oh i doubt it
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I don't.
"a graceless thing composed of involuntary, awkward movements that clog up your throat and choke you at certain times throughout the day." especially that part.
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"blocks of air"; I love that. Good, justified brutality. Effective for respones.
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i'm glad you enjoy my work.
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i wasn't sure about this when i first read it, but i like it now. i like it a lot. but your poems do confirm almost all of my opinions about you.
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what opinions are those?
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you find people in general to be completely repulsive. you infer the worst about anyone and you never participate in conversation because you're always occupied with your negative observations of people.
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yeah
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this made me feel sad, awful; for some reason it twisted me up a little. and it's amazing, the imagery is different, but stunning; "you look like a girl... but" i like that line a lot. that and the pianos. it's such a brutal acknowledgement of the pretty outside and the misalignment of everything else.
reading this felt like being eaten alive just a little.
good luck in the contest!
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