For all the years we've been together
and all the years yet to come
Remember dear there will be no other
you are thee only one
True love comes by friendship
the bond between us grows
splendid nights of worship
in the candles glow
hold me tenderly in your soft embrace
time goes by so fast
don't let lines of worry wrinkle your face
now i know for sure that our love will last
Author notes
To my Master MDR62
forever until we are reborn
A contest entry
- Wedding Vows by Riftkin.
900 points, ended October 31, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Something beautiful by Brlsbb.
700 points, ended March 10, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
thank you for your entree
-
very good
very nice free style, Wonderful flow of words. I just love your poem full of love. I just love to read love poems. It was a pleasure to read your work.
-
great job
the thing about love poems are, that they hold so much more meaning for the writer than the reader, and that is what makes poems like yours unique -
True love comes by friendship
the bond between us grows
splendid nights of worship
in the candles glow
beautiful piece of art!
-
This is stunning. Your words are divine, they speak of a love so beautiful and so unbreakable, my heart sings in joy and wonder. You write like an angel
Keep penning your miracles!
peace, love and light to you ♥
-
This is wonderfully written. I love it very much.
Thank you for entering my contest.
Riftkin
-
overall its great, esp the beginning, think it would be perfect if you cleaned up the rhythm a bit.. for example, first stanza
"For all the years we've been together
and all the years yet to come"
remove the yet and it fits better. would suggest reading it out loud to check how things fit.
keep writing
-
it's a lovely start, but could use some work. Keep an eye on your rhythm, esp. in the last couple lines where it falters. With some revision, this could be truly wonderful.
-
In the first stanza is it suppose to be 'thee' or 'the' . that happens a lot when you type it out. Grows and glow doesn't really rhyme, but it works enough. It still works though. The love does come from friendship. I really like it. The last stanza doesn't really flow to me. But I really like the re-insurance in the end, or something like that. Very nicely done. Keep on writing and I can't wait to read more from you.
xXDarkChildXx
-
mmm ....worship by candleglow,
lovely wedding vows indeed, promises of hope, togehterness, romance and all hopefully worry free...i like that~~~Artis
-
Lovely vows, K....beautiful choice of words, lovely rhyme and flow! I wish you well in the contest, dear niece!
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
