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mask-malfunction

 

 

 

25-Oct-2008

 

They wanted documentation

of my truths

when I could only

construct

lies.

 

 

 

 

26-Oct-2008

 

He fled my eyes,

leaving behind vacancies

I couldn't cash in

or replenish - and I

 

forgot to thank him.

 

 

 

 

27-Oct-2008

 

I was the outsider -

 

their backs in my

face, while my pockets

consumed

nostalgia.

 

 

 

 

28-Oct-2008

 

Someone died today,

rotting under raindrops.

 

 

 

 

29-Oct-2008

 

Tears don't fall

and it's raining beneath

the floor -

spitting upwards

 

attacking me through cracks.

 

 

 

 

30-Oct-2008

 

I am a hypocrite

 

scraping under cupboards

looking for love -

when I despise it.

 

 

 

 

31-Oct-2008

 

The itch

in my eye

increases

 

and everyone wants to

haunt my sleep.

 

 

 

 

1-Nov-2008

 

I lay on the

bed -

sore, semi-conscious,

still playing games...

 

still losing.

 

 

 

 

2-Nov-2008

 

No amount of

whiskey shots

can melt the sound

 

of me becoming

nothing.

 

 

 

 

3-Nov-2008

 

He breathed

 

and the air turned

sour.

 

 

 

 

4-Nov-2008

 

My mother's roses

died.

 

I took them

to decorate

my room.

 

 

 

 

5-Nov-2008

 

I want to paint

everything white

so the world

will hurt me

less.

 

 

 

 

6-Nov-2008

 

The floor is blistering

beneath my feet

 

and I'm falling

the wrong way.

 

 

 

 

7-Nov-2008

 

Whispers burn

down my throat -

 

I'm backing out.

 

 

 

 

10-Nov-2008

 

Feelings are lost

between the intervals

of not writing.

 

 

 

 

12-Nov-2008

 

He asks me to

reveal my thoughts

on papers;

 

but I have

too many secrets.

 

 

 

13-Nov-2008

 

Today is ominous -

the risk of death

is higher;

the chance of loss:

extreme.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

New idea by Diana

Minimalistic diary entry
Each day -
max 5 lines,
max 4 words per line,
min 8 days.

Everything is personal, despite the first entry.

A contest entry

Now you tell me:

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 78 of 78
  • the sepia vitamin
    November 15
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    this is absolutely amazing, Chandni. Marty just quoted part of this (Oct. 30th) and it was so jaw-dropping that I needed to read more. love love love this, all of it.


  • Age of Rain
    November 10
    Edit | Reply
    I wish I could write like this


  • SpaceHippie
    November 3

    Edit | Reply

    Beauty in simplicity, for sure.

    Incredibly truthful. I write short nonsense like this nowadays. My mind won't let me stay on focus for too long anymore.


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    September 9
    Edit | Reply
    Your words are truly powerful and very deep!!! This is a truly amazing piece!!!


  • February Moon gold member
    August 15
    Edit | Reply
    You is amazingful.


  • indigent
    May 6
    Edit | Reply
    girls dont take wiskey shots
    no matter what
    unless there well

    • Never Fall in Love
      May 6
      Edit | Reply
      You're right ... I went overboard that night though and took a few - a sweet burning feeling but .. you know the rest


  • stepbystep
    April 17

    Edit | Reply
    omygosh, this was astounding. you have no idea how amazing this was. wow. i am, speechless.
    great job, and never stop writing!


  • AnarchistXxXLove
    February 2
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    Wow, there is a lot in these, I could feel a depression, a hatred a love, great use of words here


  • RicardoCarvaliho
    February 1
    Edit | Reply

    simplemente increíble


  • Mistress Leala silver member
    January 23

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, your writing is very good. I think my favorite is:
    He asks me to
    reveal my thoughts
    on papers;

    but I have
    too many secrets.

    This one really kind of mesmerized me as I was reading through. I must read more of your works, they are fascinating!


  • Andrew Norris
    January 22

    Edit | Reply
    I saw that one of your poems was recommended. Not content to view just that one I have looked at a number and quite honestly I am amazed at your vision and beauty of line. Some of your imagery is quite exquisite especially since there is such economy in a number of work I read. You are such a prolific writer and clearly deserving of all your awards. I think the word that comes to mind as I read your poems is poignant. They are deeply touching and sometimes sad. I would like to read further but I am tired now. If you do not mind I would like to put you on my favourites list, i hope that that is OK.


  • Still Standing gold member
    December 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Congrats

    Thank you for allowing us all to enter into your world over these periods of days

    I love 30-Oct-2008



    I am a hypocrite



    scraping under cupboards

    looking for love -

    when I despise it.


    and

    31-Oct-2008



    The itch

    in my eye

    increases



    and everyone wants to

    haunt my sleep.

    You are one of my first favs and I don't make it to your work often but this is great


  • Ryno
    November 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I did the same thing in another contest held by dance for me. It was really fun and it really got my writing.

    Your brevity is brilliant in this piece and shines - each day having another strong idea and metaphor/simile and all coming together to document the troubled journey...

    bah. Shine that Gold, its well deserving!


    • Never Fall in Love
      November 26, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      I know! lol, I told you on your own poem that the contest here is where the idea began

      • Ryno
        November 26, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        I am thinking of stealing the idea myself because it would be a fun contest and make some good reads We will see


  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    November 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You are a master poet,
    beautiful Gold !!!

    You send chills through me,
    but I love you anyway.

    You are really something else & yes, that's a good thing. You are so you, all the time...

    Loveandblessings2u & yours always
    Granny


  • Puking Faerie Dust gold member
    November 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    how could I forget?!


  • charcoal
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the entry on Nov 10. would speak to every poet. that's what makes us write, to feel even if those feelings hurt like hell.

    so many of the other entries spoke to me. the whole piece feels very zen.


  • Puking Faerie Dust gold member
    November 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    ha, I knew it!


  • autarky
    November 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    YAY GOLD!!

    dude. this deserved nothing less.


  • flight
    November 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh! i love it! truly worth the gold!
    peace to all ~flight


  • Randomly Beautiful
    November 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on the gold love. Simply good stuff here.

  • piggyback
    November 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Especially from you, something this personal is impressive. The imagery is absolutely astounding, you really wrote wonderful minimalistic poetry! It is also very touching... especially the "someone died today' stanza - so direct, and yet I feel it so metaphorical, so painful. Seriously, you reach an incredible depth with this piece. I'll have to bookmark it when the contest's over. thank you for entering it.


  • Death of the Author
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    7 Nov

    I like the whispers bit

    10 Nov

    That's actually cleverer than I first thought seeing as there isn't an 8th or 9th, nice

    12 Nov

    Ehh - not my favourite...

    13 Nov

    Sounds like a weather report. In a cool way

    I might as well give the applause now


  • OctoberCrush
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That's really beautiful....

    7-Nov-2008
    Whispers burn
    down my throat -
    I'm backing out.

    Wonderful Job***



  • innocence jaded.xx
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    26-Oct-2008



    He fled my eyes,

    leaving behind vacancies

    I couldn't cash in
    or replenish - and I


    forgot to thank him.
    ...

    Hahhh. Those were amazing lines. I read that, and honestly, can relate so fucking well. Simply incredibleee. Loveloveloveee it. I also love how deep and personal this was, and its very relatable too. Hah. Wonderful Keep it uppp<33


  • Raining Kisses silver member
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is very deep and desolate, you portray it well.
    I am a hypocrite scraping under cupboards
    looking for love
    when I despise it
    This is a very strong line, it makes me feel cold to the core
    Thanks for haring
    littlefishone


  • parachute fog
    November 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    the latest one is so strong,

  • Death of the Author
    November 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    5th November should be about FIREWORKS!

    Yes, 6th is good. Falling any way is always pretty bad, I have to say.

    OMGZZZZZ seriouslly diz iz da best eva ya soz i cant spel or puntu8 bt i lyk ur wrk. y nvr fll in luv tho?

  • autarky
    November 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    simply reading this (as a whole, now) depresses me. i think that's a good thing, because it means you are a crazy-good poet to be able to make me feel what you feel. but it's also not a good thing that you are feeling this.

    i hope things start looking up someday. and also i hope you always keep updating this because there is nothing like it.

    • Never Fall in Love
      November 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      things are good right now actually, I just tend to see another version of things when I write.

      Is it just me or everytime I read it, the effect of the words hit me less?


      • autarky
        November 6, 2008

        Edit | Reply
        it's probably just you.
        i certainly don't have that problem


        • Never Fall in Love
          November 6, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          lol, i probablyhave looked over it a thousand times looking to edit

          • Death of the Author
            November 7, 2008
            Edit | Reply
            that's gonna happen, "the law of diminishing returns" says that after a while of course it's gonna hit less, especially as you're reading this daily.

  • Death of the Author
    November 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like it...but, this is a huge day in history (or it could be)...could you slyly reference the election (without being too obvious)?


  • camus gold member
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You know what - I was trying to figure why I liked this so much and then it hit me : it is written in that staccato, desultory style of the maestro, my hero - Albert Camus- very Existentialist and profound. One day, you will be a well-read philosopher, if you don't waste your time making money lol.

    • Never Fall in Love
      November 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      lol.

      I like business. Not for it's money. But for the game.
      Life's game becomes tiring,
      exhausting,
      boring.
      I don't need to repeat all of that in my own words as a philosopher.


  • Death of the Author
    November 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    25th is cool but that chunk I just read is still my fave ^-

  • Death of the Author
    November 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    30-Oct-2008 - FUCKING AWESOME

    31-Oct-2008 - FUCKING AWESOME

    1-Nov-2008 - OMFG

    2-Nov-2008 - YES

    3-Nov-2008 - COOL BUT NOT QUITE AS GOOD

    I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M SHOUTING.

    Would it be weird to say I think this is some of your best work


  • autarky
    November 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i love the 28th!!!!!
    and the 31st. it's kinda halloween themed even if you didn't mean it to be. :]

    • Never Fall in Love
      November 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      i intended it
      I was sick home and so fxcking tired of the children trick or treating. So I just stayed in bed, cursing them each time the doorbell rang [doorbell is the loudest thing you ever heard]

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    October 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I need to read more days my dear -

    you are blowing me out of the water with this.


  • xDemonicxAngelx
    October 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Bloody hell this is good. Very creative and so interesting, I really liked this so far. Best of luck in the contest my dear.

    Take care

  • Death of the Author
    October 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    rotting under raindrops. Fucking ace. I like that you're not striving to use as many words as you're allowed to, that's good.

    I don't like 29th as much, it doesn't feel as original.

    Still this is really interesting

  • Angelshadow
    October 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting. A diary entry with in a poem. I must say you always have simply stunning backgrounds to.

  • Death of the Author
    October 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    nostalgia is such a good word isn't it?

    And the semi-rhyme with outsider is awesome. It makes me laugh though cos I can imagine a chav saying outsidA and nostalJA. It's funny to me anyway.

    I really like these snippets.

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    October 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Sarcastic, but sad really. I hope that this is healing for you sweetheart.


  • Death of the Author
    October 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Did you get the word?

    I like what you have so far, keep me updated won't you?

    • Never Fall in Love
      October 26, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      yup - fled

      Good thing you're volunteering. I'd have made you read every day that I write regardless of what you want.


  • Death of the Author
    October 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I looked, I looked, arghghh!

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