Why cant i meet a girl like you?
I saw her today in drive through....
she was hanging out with the closest thing I have to a friend... not a friend, but closest I got...
i wanted her to run inside and kiss me that way she does...
and she wouldn't even look at me. she was looking the other way. I said her name twice and she didn't even respond....
I feel like dying
I feel like dying
I feel like
I feel like DYING
She just ignored me. kept her head turned... I saw her face just before she realized I was at drive through.
I keep laughing spontaneously. my body does that only when I'm extreme pain....
Because I can't keep up with the stress and pent-up stuff, the events. nothing funny at all.
I feel like dying.
I look at the ground a moment, look up at my car and laugh for about 1.5 seconds, then stop. No smile or anything to remember it but my ears. Stare ahead. See someone I know. Don't acknowledge, or maybe I do nod. Someone I hate, don't respond. A light turns green, I laugh for another second and a half. Straight face again. Drag a pull from my cigarette and I so...
I feel like dying. I wanna die.
Semi passing. I don't pay attention to him, except scooting a tad over so if he goes over the line even two inches, then I'll be dead. Coming home to an empty house, only a dog here barking and I tell him to shut up and let him in.
I feel so much like death today.
I feel so much like hell today.
Nothing here but the dark sun and my obscure vision. I struggle seeing and walking, no I'm not tearing up, but I can't help not to. Thank God my eyes are dry.
This song in my head was hers. The only one I remember that she showed me. Maybe that's why? Is that why
I FEEL DEATH.
It's hunting. I feel like dying. I said I feel like dying.
Writing this as a message. Knowing not to post it and you'll make your comment and say something like "Good job! It captures the readers feelings(attention) really well! Clappers!" or "What's wrong?" Knowing you won't really care.
Laugh for three seconds this time, no smile on my face again, drunken with hellish thoughts aboding in my temporary haven of nightmares. Wake from the nightmare to life and wish I hadn't awoken.
I
FEEL
LIKE
DYING.
Die die die die.
Feeling like dying.
Eat some nutmeg for cause of a rumor of it making you high. I want to forget my problems and my life... it works, but I don't forget, not for a second.
A day passes and I'm back with a repeat of the same of the same of the same old
I feel like dying I feel I I I feel feel Like I feel dy-I feel like dying. You don't know this feeling. I feel it though...
SO alone. Die dieing
I misspelled but I don't care, in fact I meant to for the first time in my life.
I FEEL LIKE DYING.
Scream as loud as I can, done it twice. Look at the computer keyboard and laugh again. My face twitching disproportionately. I laugh...
Damn to hell my thoughts of... no, accept and embrace the truth because?
Because I feel like dying. I'm so small and shaky.
I feel Dying in myself.
I am shuddering beneath this light breeze, shaking, quivering body and heart untended. My thoughts and deaths are to sixty-one of nothing. Who cares about my
bloody heart. Torn with blood and muscle strain to pour blood to my body in the right way, instead my lungs are flooded with hellish streams of incorrect solutions.
Wrong Proportions.
i feel like dying and you don't even know it.
I feel like dying and cursing myself. May death do us part.
I feel like dying. May death do us part.
Death,
Do us part.
Sincerely,
Asa's Heart.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This is extremely relatable. I've gone through this twice, the most recent one the worst. When my best friend broke up with me out of the blue. One day we were happy, the next day I was too cynical for her. Not as if I had grown any darker from one day to the next, but now that she was graduated, maybe she didn't have any need for me any more. I almost killed myself that night. I'm only alive today because I didn't want a quick death and ended up passing out before I could finish the job. The pain never really goes away. I can't get her off my mind. We were sisters and now she's disowned me. It the type of event that makes you slit your wrists with the pieces of your broken heart. "I feel so much like death today / I feel so much like hell today"...
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Took my four or five months but I finally am over her. Finally. As in decided that I didn't need her anymore approximately four days ago. Sweet release. But then the reason I didn't need her anymore pushed me away last night. It's kind of like a roller coaster that somehow goes downhill fifteen times more than it goes up. Curious, hm?
I think I could go for the "faith, love, and happiness" that Thousand Foot Krutch sings of.
Strike that. I definitely could.
~Asa of the Enduring Ninjas of Slicing -
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Damn...I just realized I'm on month seven and still not even close to being over her. >.< I'm making progress though.
I know what you mean about the roller coaster. Sometimes I wonder if the good things in life are worth all the shit they come with.
Thousand Foot Krutch? Never heard of them. What kind of music do they sing? -
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Well here's the song I referred to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BK8AEz8Xaxk
They're kind of a rock group, I guess. I like them pretty well. Good music.
What made me finally get over her was me finding someone else... find someone you like, after about a week of hanging out with them, get rid of all the things you had of the person you're trying to get over. Then ask the person out half a week later. I got rejected nice and hardcore style, so it won't take (I hope) very long to get over her. So then (again, hopefully), my slate will be clean, so to speak.
~Asa of the Erasing Tablets of Rommel -
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Nice song. I like it.
>.< yeah. That doesn't seem to work for me. I can't replace her with another friend (and I don't want to replace her) and the one guy I really want to be with is off finding himself and currently living in half way across the country. -
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By the way, I'm coming back mostly okay again. I wasn't actually over her, it turned out, but merely another uphil on the 15-course roller coaster. It took me over a year and I got over her finally because I got closure. Not from her, but her father. He talked to me and told me what happened from what he saw. I was afraid he was going to shoot me, but I needed it so badly, it was worth the risk. Finally, I'm starting to let go. Took so long. Any success on your end?
~Asa of the Ironically Faulty Calculations of a Bitter-Cold Holocaustic January
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well..... i'd like to think i could help, but i'm not entirely sure that i could cuz lately i seem to make things a tad bit worse. alls i know is i miss you! and i miss hanging out with you. our lives haven't been what they use to be, and i like to think that we could fix that and be all happy go lucky again
anywho... let me know if you need anything (like a cookie or something cuz that's about the extent of my.... helpfulness. i really suck lately) cheer up
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is this what you wrote to deal with her?
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I am not going to say any of those things Asa I know the pain that you are feeling it is a pain that I am dealing with all I can do is what I have always done wait for you to come to me and you know my arms are always open for you and I would take any burden or pain that your life has and keep it for myself if it was possible so as again I am here and even though things are bad right now for both of us there is always something that we have to hold on to take care my friend
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