In the noise of my life
I wander through the forest
of my thoughts, my feelings,
the experiences of childhood
Those things I believed were unseen,
but now I am not sure...I feel I am too visible.
Am I to be transparent to anyone and everyone?
Is the inner sanctum of my 'self' not mine alone?
At times it seems a crowd of 'others' wishes to be
inside my head
inside my heart
inside my soul
I try to be selfless
I try so damned hard to open and open again
Yet, with each opening
I find a new scar or
suffer a new wound
Cry a new river of tears
in silent amazement at my own
capacity to be hurt
And I wonder:
Is it better to become unfeeling?
Acedia is near
I feel that cool dank hand
slipping close around my heart
entering into my thoughts like a vapor
Am I nearing the edge of my limited heart?
Is this detachment or withdrawal?
Is this healing or a hole, an abyss of unconcern?
The questions always rise
the answers always shimmer
just beyond the scope of my comprehension...
And still...
a tiny voice
so deep inside me
cries out
'NO!
there is more '...
and so I go on...
waiting for the river to rise
and take me further on.
Share your thoughts...
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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A revelation
Few can reveal themselves with such honesty and self appraisal, an ultrasound of the soul. Your caring and concern for others is evident, endorsed by the emotion you write into every line. You are indeed a deep thinker and this is a banner to your kind nature. "Am I nearing the edge of my limited heart?" This poem suggests that there are no limits. This poem tells me that you could do anything. Perhaps there is a faint shadow of Gandhi behind these words?
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Stunning
Thank you for putting your human thought and emotion into words for us to share. I see myself when I read this, and it gives me comfort to know 'my' questions or doubts are not entirely my own.
G
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Thanks for this wonderful and personal comment, friend. Peace and thanks for reading, Rhonda
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there is more. much more. Love, Lane
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very sweet
so long so good.Ah that one can feel and can write such lovely thoughts.
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The test of understanding whether I am withdrawing forcefully or naturally is to see how much it affects me. If I remain calm without any anxiety then, I feel, I have detached myself successfully. Forceful withdrawal lasts for a short time only if desire is not brought under control. May you find light in your struggle and the analysis you are trying to do.
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how wonderful to see other poets write about the river of life
I wrote of it years ago, and thought I was the only one done so then wrote again on this subject recently.
Well it seems the river rises as the years go by
we tend to realise it exists in a metaphorical meaning, relating to the experience we have accumulated in life, for better or for worst
I enjoyed your write and if it is written on personal level, well you really had a go at it
Important is that you have the courage to carry on
\well done dear poetess
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'Selfless'?
No need to deny your beautiful self my sister... just remember who's it is. If we deny our self we make it our own to deny, better I think to accept and thankfully be yourself, fully, wholeheartedly and even protect it ruthlessly if need be.
Selfless pushover no, no, no! Belong to your real self, your truly unique and intimate possession worth standing up for and be knowingly possessed by the Real... I reckon.
Sol 
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Rhonda . . . a most revealing piece of work, beautiful, almost like a heartcry out into the Universe . . . Nourish that tiny voice within you because me thinks it may be your soul whispering to you during times of duress . . .
Marc
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YES, there is more! Within your heart, within your soul. You are the light annd joy. Look inside you are there, you are Him and He you.
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