She calls it an addiction,
Says I'm simply hooked on it's pain.
She calls me out on my excuses,
Says it's a foolish attempt to escape.
I don't know what she's convinced herself,
But she thinks it's because I no longer get pain from you.
She believes this craving is because I need it,
And she can't quite understand the things I do.
Some use their thighs, their wrists, or their hips;
I've even met someone who's destroyed their breasts.
But my new spot actually has some real meaning behind it,
It's a reminded to me about facing life's tests.
The pain never goes away here,
It's simply hard to avoid.
Raising arms, wearing a bra, putting on a backpack-
It chafes, it reopens the wounds, it keeps this spot destroyed.
And the constant pain is simply a reminder,
To why it was done, to what it stands for.
Reminder about the mistakes, about the hate,
Reminder about the people I've carelessly thrown away before.
It's for all the hate I've brought, all the hurt I've caused;
It's for all the broken promises, for turning my back on the world.
It's for thinking so negatively, for hoping too hard,
But mostly? It's for letting my innermost self become unfurled.
There's more reasons behind it than an addiction,
And I can guarantee that it isn't something I need.
I do it because I want to, because it's just a reminder,
And my personal reasons are things that can't escape me.
Maybe it'll scar, maybe the marks will stay left behind,
But I'm not even bothering to hope they'll go away.
It's my own fault, I do it intentionally, not out of need or obsession,
So if it marks me forever, it'll just serve as another reminder, so I hope they stay.
A person learns a lot as their stage of naivety fades,
And reality starts to finally sink in as they get older.
I've made my own decisions, and I'm only taking the consequences.
If you want to see the price I've paid -just look at my shoulders.
Author notes
Inspired by a comment my friend made last night...But Hell! This was a bitch to write. Because originally there were a few different "shes" and "hers" that I was talking about, and it was confusing as heck. So I had to go back and change pronouns to make it more clear, adding "you" and "me" and then one "she". Hope it's better now...
Comment please!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Wow. This is incredible.
I know the scars are the worst part of it. Looking back on what I've done in the past only makes this piece of art more relatable.
Lovely piece. I loved the use of "you" and "me", as opposed to, "her" and "she"; this also makes it more relatable.
Keep the pen going, love. I hope to read more great things from ya'.
♥ Harley ♥
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I love the way you were inspired to write this by your friends comment it is very inspirational and powerful. It is very stylish and a fantastic creation. Loads of emotions and feelings in this poem. Way to go! Happy writing!
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Ah... this is well written!
Great write.
It really expresses fantastic emotion,
and it is pretty freaking amazing!
Great, great piece of work!
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Very well written!
The "mom" in me just wants to reach out and make the pain go away...I understand the feeling, self-inflicted bodily pain puts the focus on that area, freeing the heart momentarily from the emotional pain that at times is just too much. If only we could all find a way to love, embrace, and accept ourselves, our truly lovely essence that is in all of us. No need to punish ourselves, but only forgive. Best wishes to you. Your poem is great, keep writing....
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even if the scars go away it'll always be known.
... well done. It really is a good poem, no matter how sad.
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