i woke without ankles,
feet drifting in the shaded light
like lilies
on your wall
blooming hearsay,
flat water,
more water,
i go out touching the sky-
you drag me through the sea
in nets of tangled knots,
shore-bound and sinking
with the mouths of a thousand ships
suckled to my neck -
i forget to breathe,
but you're beautiful
;
at least we came in autumn.
[c'etait l'automne.
c'etait l'automne et c'etait la saison de la guerre.
...
it is autumn.
it is autumn and it is the season of war.
do you remember the war?]
no,
i haven't remembered
for years, nothing but
the undiscovered planets
in your sleepy eyes,
the constellations
our limbs
grabbed onto
when we weren't thinking.
Author notes
i woke this morning, it was over. her lips were dry ( i wanted to kiss her better). i didn't know where she had been, and she didn't know where we were going. i started the car and we started driving, driving.... east-ish.
and then it was a dream. i was here, empty, waiting - fill me with your words, not your physics, your chemistry, your concrete things, but the thoughts that flit through your mouth before you have a chance to breath,
when you said you were leaving, and i said, try again.
i want to see the curve of the planet, dripping with sky-lit eyes like beetles.
[i think about him. i've been thinking about him for years. i wish he thought about me.]
____________________________
c'etait l'automne.... -house of leaves
In a list
A contest entry
- keep it close by the atlantic.
1750 points, ended November 10, 2008, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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took me to a distant place in my heart
your language is strong enough to break my legs and hold my wailing pain shatter'd mind until i flowed over the last line...
smooth as mercury and as insidious. at times (while reading) i could envision myself the ocean, sentient, naked, and exposed through time.
i really enjoyed the way you toyed with dialogue in this piece.
as always thanks for sharing
peace
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i think this rocks.
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best poem i have read in some time.
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Your images are exceedingly beautiful. I very much like the use of French and translation here, as well. However, the three parts seem a bit disjointed in content, but not in mood.
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great first line...wow
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"i woke without ankles" my god - that just flat did it for me. this is such a smooth poem. i didn't even notice it moving me, until i remembered to breathe. and in the author notes "i want to see the curve of the planet" oh yes. yes yes yes.
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this was utterly stunning, I don't even know what to say about it. It just took my breath away completely. Autumn is always so beautiful, and this poem just makes me appreciate it, simply because it mentions it. Wonderful.
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I'm left completely and utterly speechless.
♥
-Rainbow. -
"i forget to breath"
should be breathe? i believe so
as for the rest.. im totally unaware of how to comment this and i wish i knew what to say but im struck with some sort of loss for words. i notice i get like that when theres too much running through my mind as i read your work and i just cant function my emotions into words. its not a bad thing but it kind of sucks when it comes to commenting :/ anyway you did excellent with this dear <3 <3
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ah yeah, thanks for catching the breath. i changed it =)
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your writing is so goddamn beautiful
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