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ripped stitches

self pity has become a lottery of lost hope
one million tickets later
I find myself hiding behind a pile of crumpled paper
with an embarrassed look on my face


you only laugh while

rearranging the puzzle pieces of your piety

into a perfect square

 

I fold my fearlessness

into the bottom

of your dresser drawer

and wait for a forgotten fad

to be reborn

 

resolve dissolves

 

you never were that brave

 

 

Author notes

Prompt #5: "I am hiding from some beast

But the beast was always here

Watching without eyes

Because the beast is just my fear

That I am just nothing" -Believe, The Bravery

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    October 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Love it! Story of my life here. Fantastic write hun


  • notorious gold member
    October 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is good.
    And that first stanza...reminds me of how I used to LOVE choosing numbers with my dad for lottery tickets and how sometimes we'd win $2...LMFAO.

    "into a perfect square"
    You BASTARD!
    Were you referring to "perfect squares" in polynomials, or just a perfectly folded square?
    It was rather genius...

    "I fold my fearlessness"
    Do you need the 'my'?
    That 'I' already seems to imply it belongs to you, making the 'my' redundant...I mean, I don't hate it, but thought I'd point that out.

    "forgotten fad/to be reborn"
    Loved that.

    Thanks for entering.

    Jessica


    • sheltered
      October 26, 2008

      Edit | Reply
      while I agree the my is redundant I think i'd have to replace it with another syllable to maintain the flow... i'll think on it


  • DolceVito gold member
    October 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    True...

    ...but "hope springs eternal..." says Pope


  • Cannonsfire
    October 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Just think of all the money we would save if we didn't buy those stupid things!! I'd be a millionaire and not still buying them!!! Nice write here. C


    • sheltered
      October 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      i don't buy them anymore
      but it's not like I don't
      waste the money on something else

1 - 8 of 8