crunch.
crack. the bone snapped.
her index.
and fueled the fire in my eyes.
twitch. the lifeless body. her shell.
my toy.
overused. the decrepit skin. her offering.
dilapidated limbs littering the platters.
feast. a holiday celebrating death's birth.
pores. follicles. glands. nerves. vessels.
pulpous. yielding carapace. his offering.
their relationship elevated, his and hers.
from physical and mental, to physical and
mental. their bodies splayed, spread, like
delicious finger foods on plates. death brought
them closer together than prior to this picnic.
across the room. six feet across from the table.
stacked ornaments hung across the green
tree. fish hooks. rusted. stained steel.
streamed between finger and nail.
hanging beautifully. glistening. partial
limbs. popcorn dismissed, flesh deployed.
strung by each piece. murder employed.
gather around. the food's great. invite friends.
and we're opening our presents afterward.
bring your own body,
though.
Author notes
Benjamin Lucas is the name.
Welcome
and
enjoy the feast.
Option one.
In a list
A contest entry
- The Darkwrite Challenge Round III by Ktulu Blackwolfe.
800 points, ended November 7, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Just in Time For October by realism-vs-romance.
525 points, ended November 13, 2008, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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wow
the description was vivid and chilling, a very sinister read.. I much enjoyed xx
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I like how this is inadvertently sexual in nature, but doesn't actually have any sexual content. It just suggests it.
The italics work very well. I imagine that if this poem was read out loud, those words would be almost yelled. They just seem very...forceful, I guess is the word.
All in all, this is a fine piece of work.
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i like this one good write =333
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Have you read Jeffery Deaver's book "the bone collector"? It's great... anyway that was the first thing that poped in my mind when I read/listened to your poem.
It's somehow creepy but exciting at the same time.
I'll go check out more of youp poems.
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Very creepy.
I almost wished you'd went into more detail. is this a lone killer ranting to himself? or are there more.
I'd love to see a sister poem. -
Very cool write... thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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i like this its really weird x
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Fab! Good luck
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This is awesome..Loved what you have here..Great write and good luck in the challenge.
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
Oh my.
This was nicely twisted. Very descriptive and AMAZING!
It made my heart race.
"twitch. the lifeless body. her shell.
my toy."
Favorite! :]]
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Very kind of you, sir. xD
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Sir? :[
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I call everyone sir! I apologize if it offended you!
If I call you sir, I like you.
And you seem likable enough? -
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If you insist! :]
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A nice twist on B.Y.O.B.
Very enjoyable, an excellent piece by far.
Good luck in the contest.
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nice piece. very dark. i left you a comment on youtube as well.
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If I didn't know you so well I'd have you locked up in an asylum for this one! This piece is very well the most frightening, soul-stirring, bone-chilling work I've ever had the pleasure of reading. The italics breathe an eerie life into the gruesome scene; body parts hanging from a christmas tree, ornament hooks clutching at the flesh - it is all I can do not to shudder! You've really outdone yourself, Lucas. This is one party I will (hopefully) not be attending.
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Aya! Goosebumps creepy! Good detail a little too good watch out or you might scare people great job. And last two lines perfect.
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Ooooo! I like it.
Twisted.
The emphasis with italics was a nice touch.
Favorite line:
"a holiday celebrating death's birth"
Best of luck!
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Very dark and sinister and gruesome.
Made me think of a guy sort of hunched over an iron table, big stained apron on doing some foul piece of intricacy.
Not forgetting the christmas tree... with all its ornaments...
And the italics really stood out to me. There was almost a black comic element to some of them. Like:
"six /feet/ across from the table"
Not sure if that black comedy was intended, but I liked it a lot.
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(music note)
All I want for Christmassss
Is youuuuuu
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