Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

This Forest

I fly through the trees,
looking down at the beautiful lake,
snow should be falling this week,
soon others will no longer wake.

It's amazing, this forest,
the way the light shimmers
off everything it touches,
and the way the lake trembles.

It's beautiful, this forest,
and I never want to leave,
but I must soon head south,
to my new home and grieve.

Author notes

yeah, okay, i don't really like this piece, if you have any ideas on how to make it better, please tell me.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • LonleyVixen
    January 9

    Edit | Reply
    dont change a thing! this is really pretty, i can see the forest in my mind. if i were you, i wudnt change a single word. great poems, Bri!


  • xXGoddessofPainXx
    November 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you so much for entering this contest, however due to lack of entries I will be closing this contest.. I shall use the points to start another contest.. Sorry and thanx so much for efforts..


  • xXGoddessofPainXx
    October 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This piece is not bad, but you could change it maybe and re-enter..