i.
somewhere inside of me
there's an ache,
something's breaking
but i can't quite put a finger on it.
ii.
our friendship is crumbling,
you don't call
like you used to
& you don't care
like you used to.
& i thought if i just
held on a little longer,
if i just gave you
a little more room to breathe,
i would get what i deserve.
iii.
cause i did earn it
didn't i?
who is she to steal
all the things
i worked so hard for?!
night in and night out
i listened & bled
right there with you.
i showed you what
it means to live
& move on,
oh, and you moved on alright.
iv.
& you're such a coward,
couldn't even call
you just sent it in a text,
"i think i found someone"
& i fell to pieces
scattering myself
among the memories;
v.
i can't help but let the smoke
twirling before my eyes
take me back to a time
when i was enough
& we were friends,
but so much more;
riding with my barefeet
pressed against the window
of the car that drove
2 & a half hours
for a boy,
who never saw me in the light
that i saw him.
vi.
head nestled in his lap,
as fingers fell
across the skin
on my face & neck
to hide in my hair
& lips stumbled
to find each other
in the dark.
vii.
& i failed to realize
that he was pretending
all along.
shame on me
for kissing with my eyes
closed so tight
& trusting him
with the jagged little pieces
of a heart
meant to be broken.
NOT FINISHED!
Author notes
NOT finished. it is not constructed & not formatted at all yet. DO NOT comment with critiques right now!
very personal, so i'm struggling with displaying my emotions properly; plus, this is a complete & utter just outpour of what i'm thinking & feeling about him. so excuse me if it's a bit scatterbrained. the writing process for this probably won't be over for a few weeks.
constructive criticism always welcome :]
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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i couldnt read the whole thing cuz i knew i would have started crying...
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What I love about your poetry is you do more than paint a picture, you paint a personality.
Your words paint out a person so real he or she could be the person next to you, someone you pass upon the street or even the reader him/herself
And that is pure genius.
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I don't mind scatterbrained... I AM scatterbrained. Anyway, I think it's perfect the way it is. Seriously. It's a beautiful expression of how you feel with clever metaphors thrown in for emphasis.
"shame on me
for kissing with my eyes
closed so tight
& trusting him
with the jagged little pieces
of a heart
meant to be broken."
That's my favourite stanza, by the way.
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babe. seriously, this is amazing, please finish it! =]
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Wow. Somehow, it feels not completed too. I can't wait for the whole thing! Must keep me informed!
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saying this is amazing isnt a critique riight?
:]]
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let me know when you're done
♥
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